Free Republic

U.S. — In an attempt to avoid further injury and traumatic incidents involving Caucasians eating food that's far too spicy for them, the scientists behind the Scoville Scale have announced they are releasing a separate spiciness scale for white people. "We had to do something to save all those white folks," said Dr. Glenn Jacobs, lead researcher on the Scoville team. "We've been inundated with reports of white people suffering severe injuries while attempting to impress other people by ingesting foods that rank near the top of the scale. This new scale will likely save countless lives." The Scoville Scale,...

A UFO which resembles a popular salty snack has been spotted in the skies over Britain for the third time in as many years. The space invader, dubbed by locals the 'Dudley Dorito', was sighted over the Midlands. In the latest sighting of the 'extra-terrestrial tortilla chip', quality inspector Munesh Mistry, 21, spotted the triangular object in the the skies above His sighting comes just weeks after a UFO was spotted hovering over nearby Sutton Coldfield on the eve of Bonfire Night. That time the triangular object, which was reportedly four or five times the size of a commercial airliner,...