Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. "Hallo, President Obama?" a heavily accented Yooper voice said. "This is Sven, up here at Olie's Bar and Steak House in Bruce Crossing, Michigan. I am callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on ya!" "Well Sven," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Sven, after a moment's calculation "there is myself, my cousin Olie, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Pine's Bar. That makes eight." Barack paused. "I must tell you Sven that I...