Posted on 07/18/2011 3:49:15 PM PDT by bigbob
Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, President Obama?" a heavily accented Yooper voice said. "This is Sven, up here at Olie's Bar and Steak House in Bruce Crossing, Michigan. I am callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Sven," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Sven, after a moment's calculation "there is myself, my cousin Olie, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Pine's Bar. That makes eight."
Barack paused. "I must tell you Sven that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Wow," said Sven. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Sven called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Sven?" Barack asked.
"Well sir, we have two 4-wheelers, a snowmobile, and Harry's trail grooming machine."
President Obama sighed. "I have tell you Sven, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lord above", said Sven, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Sven rang again the next day, "President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Olie's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the coffee shop have joined us as well!"
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Sven that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Oh Lord," said Sven, "l'll have to call you back."
Sure enough, Sven called again the next day.. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Sven, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners."
GOD BLESS MICHIGAN!
LOL
Michigan troll here lovin me some yooper humor.
WOLVERINES!
(couldn’t resist)
Michigan ping! I call honorary yooper!
Olie's Bar and Steak House my a$$. It'd have to be the Alaskan Connection or Logger's Alley, at least since Grandma Gruters burnt down.
Have you forgotten already?
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2750261/posts
ML/NJ
Some of our state forms have had arabic sections for 20 years or more. I suspect you would find the same is true in many states.
Pats Northview Lounge still on the locks at Sault Saint Marie ?
Watched the then unknown band “Heart” perform there when I was stationed at Kincheloe AFB looooong time ago...:o)
Yah Der Hey, Don’tcha Know Ping!
Still trying to convince the wife, that one day I’d like to get a summer home in the UP.
Don’t get to the Sault too often, so I don’t know about Pats Northview Lounge. I’ve done the Antlers quite a few times.
I suppose if you were at Kincheloe you tipped a few at Sky McFly’s.
Really?
Do you have more information?
How did this happen? The Jewish population in NYC is quite a significant percentage of the total NYC population; maybe even higher than the Muslim population around Detroit and certainly higher than the Michigan Mulsim percentage. Yet I do not recall ever seeing any NYS or NYC publication in Yiddish or Hebrew. Do you think this is an indication of discrimination; or stupidity?
ML/NJ
Nice one - forwarding to my yooper friends.
In New Jersey you can apply for benefits in English, Spanish, Arabic, Creole, Korean, Portuguese, or Gujarati.
http://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/dfd/programs/foodstamps/apply/
PING
Ya and to shoot dem deer is way to hard dis time of da year dont ya know. Dats too many deer to shoot to feed dat many.
Should have been Pitto, Toivo and Urho.
Thats from down there.. We aint got anything to do with that up here.
WTF is Gujarati?
And I thought Food Stamps was a Federal program. What does NJ have to do with this?
Houston, we got a problem here.
ML/NJ
Bring lots of ammo.
I got a little tidbit for you. During the 2000 election debacle, there actually was a group from Republic that were all packed up and armed and ready to go to Florida. I heard the local wisemen talked them out of it.
During the Detroit Riots, a group of National Guard from up here were down in Detroit and were told to set up a road block and ordered not to let anyone through. So they did and a carload of the rioters came up threatening to run the roadblock, hey unloaded a whole belt of 50 cal into that car. I heard that that was about the last of the rioting. I was told they then were told to pack up, police the area for looted stuff, and told to get the hell out of town and dont come back. They did, and they were last seen heading north with their trucks loaded with TVs and Furniture and all kinds of stuff confiscated from the Hood. I have a friend that is a cop up here, and he says that they are still afraid to come up here to some places.
The money is given by the feds and administered by the states. Being federal money probably subjects it to federal laws and probably requires associated paperwork to be printed in predominant immigrant languages.
Gujarati is an Indian language.
Personally I think they should all be in English. When my great grandfather came here from Austria he was required to speak enough english to work.
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