MILWAUKEE, WI — Local man Aiden Jackson suffered a devastating blow earlier today after he stepped in a little wet spot on the kitchen floor while wearing socks. Sources say the event has ruined his day, and perhaps his life. "Ew, my feet are squishy and damp, now," said the man helplessly as the cruel liquid soaked into his socks. "Why would a good God allow such a thing to happen?" "That's about as bad as it gets, honestly," said Stacy Jackson, Aiden's wife. "I wear slippers in the kitchen myself to avoid just this sort of thing." Experts...