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No squirrels allowed, Paso Robles schools say Paso Robles Public Schools may put an end to its overpopulation of the rodents with a $2,000 extermination system that involves propane By Monika Tjia The Tribune On any given day, a dozen squirrels scamper on the field at Pat Butler Elementary in Paso Robles, slipping in and out of holes the size of softballs. That may soon end. The Paso Robles Public Schools is considering buying squirrel extermination systems called the Rodenator Pro for its more than 10 campuses. The $2,000 system exterminates the critters by releasing a mixture of propane and...

1. CHEVY CHASE Have you heard the one about the garbage-mouthed left-wing comedian who hosted a fancy mid-December awards ceremony in Washington and managed to gross out even the Hollywood liberal socialites in the audience with a string of hysterical anti-Bush obscenities? The distinguished speaker was Cornelius Crane "Chevy" Chase, the distinguished venue was the toney Kennedy Center on the banks of the Potomac, and the distinguished audience consisted largely of well-dressed members and supporters of "People for the American Way" -- a grotesquely misnamed leftist advocacy group that had engaged the 61-year-old washed-up comic to host its annual fundraiser...

Hours before Rodney Dangerfield died Tuesday, I tried to collect a debt from a buddy, e-mailing him my address. He facetiously thanked me for adding him to my Christmas card list, prompting me to reply, without thinking, "Rocco, Moose, help the judge find his checkbook." Nothing else needed saying. Young readers and women who still believe Doritos and Budweiser aren't a square meal are scratching their heads right now. But my friend, a middle school classmate of mine when "Caddyshack" opened, understood every syllable. What I said, in Quotable Guy-Movie Talk, was that yes, my friend Joe will pay me....

Forgive me if I have posted this in the wrong area, I am not new to FR but haven't posted much. A group of my friends are going on a golf trip. There are 12 golfers playing 4 rounds of golf as foursomes. I have been asked to come up with a schedule that has each golfer playing at least one round of golf with the other eleven golfers. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Monday, July 7 Editor loses job over 'Caddyshack' embellishment -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Associated Press ROSWELL, N.M. -- The sports editor of the Roswell Daily Record has been fired for fabricating part of a news story about a golf tournament in which he quoted a fictional character from the movie "Caddyshack." Gregory M. Jones was dismissed by the Daily Record on June 17, the day after his article about a Father's Day golf tournament at the Roswell Country Club appeared on the sports page, editor Mike Bush said. "He got a bunch of scores and wanted to make it more interesting," Bush said...

Congress has been working on legislation to create a militia composed of 'technology experts' who will manage the telecommunications infrastructure in times of national emergency. The Senate bill passed last week emphasizes disaster response, not terror prevention, with such things as patching leaky government servers and databases, setting aside bandwidth and developing interoperable standards for emergency communications, and organizing local teams of geeks ready to lend a hand putting it all back together in the event of a natural disaster or terrorist attack. All that sounds quite reasonable and the initial budget of $35 million refreshingly modest. But before we...