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Exclusive: The Babylon Bee Has Obtained A Copy Of Trump‘s New Year’s Resolutions

12/31/2025 1:52:23 PM PST · by V_TWIN · 11 replies
babylonbee.com ^ | Dec 30, 2025

It's the end of December, which means people all over the world are making their lists of New Year's resolutions for 2026 — and President Donald Trump is no different. Through high-level contacts, The Babylon Bee has obtained the following copy of Trump's resolutions for the coming year: Build a wall around New York City: To keep the riffraff from escaping into the U.S. Put his face on all U.S. currency: Nobody remembers people like Lincoln, Andrew Jackson, or Ben Franklin anyway. Reconnect with Macaulay Culkin: Make sure he knows where to find the bathroom. Broker peace with all the...

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