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Keyword: scrappleface

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  • Obama: A&E Should Reinstate ‘Duck Dynasty’ Patriarch

    12/19/2013 9:47:45 AM PST · by Lucky9teen · 27 replies
    Scrappleface ^ | December 19, 2013 | Scott Ott
    Calling A&E’s suspension of ‘Duck Dynasty’ patriarch Phil Robertson “a chilling crackdown on free speech in an artistic community that should value individual expression,” President Barack Obama today urged the Arts & Entertainment network to reinstate Robertson immediately, and to apologize for its “hypocrisy.” “There are no bigger fans of Duck Dynasty than Michele and me,” Obama said. “And while I have my disagreements with Mr. Robertson’s views on homosexuality, as expressed in GQ magazine, I’ll defend with my last breath Robertson’s right to express those views.” The White House acknowledged that the private company has the right to fire...
  • Senate Mulls Background Checks on Potential Victims

    04/10/2013 9:04:56 AM PDT · by Sub-Driver · 7 replies
    Senate Mulls Background Checks on Potential Victims April 10th, 2013 Scott Ott Potential mass-shooting victim background checks mulled by SenateSome senators worry that a bill to screen for potential mass-shooting victims could lead to empty classrooms and theaters, or worse, the specter of armed security personnel or even armed, law-abiding citizens depriving people of their natural right to remain defenseless. The U.S. Senate next week will reportedly take up debate on a bill to require background checks on potential victims of mass shootings. The alternative to increased gun-purchase background checks came out of closed-door negotiations among Senate leaders when they...
  • BREAKING: Rangel Deal Restores Ways and Means Chair (satire)

    07/30/2010 8:55:09 AM PDT · by chickadee · 3 replies
    Scrappleface ^ | 7-3-10 | Scott Ott
    Hours before his trial was set to begin in the House, veteran Rep. Charles Rangel, D-NY, struck a deal late last night with the House ethics panel which has charged him with 13 violations of Congressional rules and federal law. Under the terms of the agreement, Rep. Rangel, who claims he’s done nothing but serve the people over the past 40 years, will be restored to the chairmanship of the powerful Ways and Means Committee in return for a ‘very sincere promise’ to be more subtle in the future about misappropriation of tax-payer dollars.
  • Times Square Suspect Shahzad Nails Endorsement Deal (satire)

    05/05/2010 1:30:33 PM PDT · by Servant of the Cross · 1 replies · 293+ views
    Scrappleface ^ | 5/5/2010 | Scott Ott
    (2010-05-05) — Faisal Shahzad, the Connecticut resident facing charges related to an attempted bombing in Times Square Saturday, has reportedly secured an endorsement deal that may cover his legal expenses. Mr. Shahzad, a family man who is also an American citizen, was detained by border enforcement agents after his flight to Dubai had pushed back from the gate Monday night at JFK International Airport. He had apparently passed through the TSA screening process without raising concern. That fact caught the eye of an advertising executive at a Pakistan-based manufacturer of personal hygiene products. “Faisal Shahzad is the very picture of...
  • New Scrappleface

    05/05/2010 6:33:44 AM PDT · by jdietz · 11 replies · 617+ views
    Scrappleface.com ^ | 05-05-2010 | Scott Ott
    Scott Ott strikes again. Check it out.
  • NOW demands CBS yank Tebow pro-life ad, Heisman

    02/02/2010 5:54:18 PM PST · by Servant of the Cross · 20 replies · 1,456+ views
    The Washington Examiner ^ | 2/2/2010 | Scott Ott
    News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher.The National Organization for Women on Monday called on CBS to yank a pro-life Super Bowl ad featuring former Florida Gators quarterback Tim Tebow, and it started a campaign to demand that authorities withdraw Tebow's Heisman Trophy and pull his National Championship ring. The ad, sponsored by Colorado-based Focus on the Family, highlights Pam Tebow's high-risk pregnancy and her decision to give birth to Tim despite a medical recommendation to abort the fetus. The women's rights group said Mrs. Tebow's decision, 23 years ago, "set in motion a cascade of events ending in this...
  • Obama: Coakley victorious if Brown gets less than 60 percent(Scott Ott Satire)

    01/19/2010 10:10:40 AM PST · by SonOfDarkSkies · 22 replies · 1,900+ views
    washingtonexaminer.com ^ | 1/19/2010 | Scott Ott
    "Our internals show that he might eke out a margin something less than double digits," said the unnamed Coakley campaign source, "It would be laughable if it weren't so tragic to see all of that money and effort wasted on a shamefully small point spread." The White House said the president's last-minute campaign visit to Massachusetts was not designed to bolster Coakley's sagging poll numbers, but to give the president an up-close look at the sad state of the Republican Party and conservatism in general. "It was really a triumphant visit, without gloating of course," said White House press secretary...
  • Reid: Martha Coakley 'more than just my 60th Yes-Man'

    01/17/2010 12:43:45 PM PST · by Servant of the Cross · 25 replies · 899+ views
    The Washington Examiner ^ | 1/15/2010 | Scott Ott
    News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher. With just hours to go before Tuesday's special Senate election in Massachusetts to fill the unexpired term of the late Edward M. Kennedy, Sen. Harry Reid said that Democratic candidate Martha Coakley would be "much more than just my 60th yes-man." "Sure, she'd be a rookie senator, who's never functioned in a legislature, with no power, eager to please, inheriting the onus of the longest liberal dynasty in history," said Reid, "but that doesn't mean she'd be just a rubber stamp, or some kind of inert mass of protoplasm that responds predictably to...
  • Obama: C-Span Ban Protects Private Health Information (satire)

    01/11/2010 7:50:05 AM PST · by Servant of the Cross · 6 replies · 424+ views
    The Washington Examiner ^ | 1/8/2010 | Scott Ott
    News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher.Today, the White House said President Obama's alleged failure to keep an oft-repeated campaign promise to televise high-level health care reform negotiations on C-Span was necessary to protect the "private health information of the participants" under so-called HIPAA privacy rules. The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 prevents unauthorized disclosure of patients' health information, according to White House press secretary Robert Gibbs, "and this reform debate has already had serious health consequences for several members of Congress." Indeed, Sens. Chris Dodd, D-Conn., and Byron Dorgan, D-N.D., announced this week they would not...
  • White House inadvertently blames Bush for drop in crime

    01/03/2010 6:08:36 PM PST · by Beave Meister · 8 replies · 1,642+ views
    Washington Examiner ^ | 12/22/2009 | Scott Ott
    President Obama on Tuesday inadvertently blamed George W. Bush for a startling drop in U.S. crime in the first half of 2009. According to the FBI, murder and manslaughter fell by 10 percent, all violent crimes were off 4.4 percent, rape was down 3.3 percent and property crimes declined 6.1 percent, continuing trends begun in 2008.
  • Scott Ott's Examiner Scrappleface: Obama: Palin book shows need for memoir public option

    11/17/2009 5:52:50 PM PST · by Nachum · 5 replies · 341+ views
    The Washington Examiner ^ | 11/17/09 | Scott Ott
    News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher. Decrying the lack of "choice and competition" in the U.S. memoir market, President Obama today backed a House bill to create a "single-writer public option" autobiography to serve the needs of an estimated 47 million Americans who can't afford Sarah Palin's $28.99 hardcover "Going Rogue." Although the Congressional Budget Office estimates the cost of the measure at $1.7 trillion over 10 years, the president said it would "not add a single dime to the deficit" because funding would come from a 55 percent tax on sales of "Going Rogue" as well as on...
  • Journalists raise funds for troubled Fort Hood shooter .........(Scrappleface)

    11/10/2009 6:43:09 AM PST · by IrishMike · 37 replies · 1,618+ views
    Washington Examiner ^ | November 10, 2009 | Scott Ott
    Journalists across the nation, moved by the plight of a troubled Muslim psychiatrist whose "understandable emotional turmoil" broke out in gunfire last week at Fort Hood, Texas, will hold a major fundraising event in the coming weeks in honor of the accused shooter, Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan. News coverage of the tragedy sparked reporters and anchors in the mainstream media to "reach out to Hasan in love and brotherhood because his righteous indignation at the illegal wars in Iraq and Afghanistan led him to express his outrage in the only avenue open to a non-journalist," according to an unnamed organizer...
  • Obama Adds Public Option to World Series

    10/27/2009 5:52:57 AM PDT · by Servant of the Cross · 7 replies · 452+ views
    The Washington Examiner ^ | 10/27/2009 | Scott Ott
    News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher. [in other words, satire]President Obama today announced his plan to add "choice and competition" to the World Series of Major League Baseball by adding a 'public team' to the traditional end-of-season championship duel. The president said the public option was needed because the American League champion New York Yankees and National League victors, the Philadelphia Phillies, were "motivated by greed to put their own interests ahead of the interests of the American people." "Without a public option," said Obama, "you would just see two teams trying to run up the score, without any...
  • World Hails Obama’s Rescue of Balloon Boy

    10/16/2009 6:24:37 AM PDT · by Constitutionalist Conservative · 17 replies · 1,011+ views
    Scrappleface ^ | October 16, 2009 | Scott Ott
    Congratulatory messages poured into the White House this morning from global heads-of-state celebrating President Barack Obama’s dramatic rescue of a 6-year-old Colorado boy, whose apparent flight in an experimental balloon yesterday captivated viewers around the world. While the White House declined to comment on how the president could have flown to Colorado, retrieved the boy from the balloon, and returned him safely to the attic of his family home, press secretary Robert Gibbs said President Obama was “surprised and deeply humbled” by the international attention. He said the president views this latest round of global tribute as “a call to...
  • U.N. Decries Obama’s Preemptive Nobel Peace Prize

    10/09/2009 8:49:07 AM PDT · by Servant of the Cross · 14 replies · 926+ views
    Scrappleface ^ | 10/9/2009 | Scott Ott
    <p>“The Nobel committee, perhaps persuaded by faulty intelligence and a hyped sense of urgency, made an historic blunder in its rush to judgment,” said Mr. Ban. “When Obama was nominated in February, he had just taken office…so the prize was awarded based on his speeches as a presidential candidate, not even for the good intentions that he has implemented in the past eight months.”</p>
  • Scrappleface: Obama Googles 'Van Jones,' 'public option,' learns both are socialist

    09/08/2009 6:10:08 AM PDT · by freespirited · 10 replies · 1,220+ views
    Examiner ^ | 09/08/09 | Scott Ott
    Just a day after White House "green jobs czar" Van Jones resigned amid controversy over his radical views, the Obama administration said it had discovered a new vetting tool called "Google" that also revealed that the president's "public option" health insurance proposal may be socialist as well. "You just type a few words into this rectangle," said White House press secretary Robert Gibbs, "Click a button and information suddenly appears on your computer screen. When we did that, we were shocked to learn that Van was a socialist, and that the keystone of the president's health reform plan probably is...
  • Scott Ott's Examiner Scrappleface: Couric to lead Obama's new elite interrogation unit

    08/25/2009 3:13:53 PM PDT · by greyfoxx39 · 11 replies · 720+ views
    Washington Examiner | August 25, 2009 | Scott Ott
    A new "elite interrogation unit", that President Barack Obama has appointed to quiz terrorism detainees, will apparently be run by CBS News anchor Katie Couric, rather than the Central Intelligence Agency. If the report from anonymous sources proves accurate, the former NBC "Today" hostess, would head up the High-Value Detainee Interrogation Group, or HIG, under the president's National Security Council. Detainee-questioning sessions would be filmed before a live studio audience in Burbank, California. "The president wants to ensure that these folks receive all the protections the U.S. Constitution affords other citizens," said White House press secretary Robert Gibbs. "We can't...
  • Clunker program spent, dealers to get government cheese

    08/22/2009 6:54:14 PM PDT · by AmericanVictory · 19 replies · 1,448+ views
    The Washington Examiner ^ | August 21, 2009 | Scott Ott
    News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher. Uncle Sam's Cash-for-Clunkers program has already spent its allotted $3 billion, making it by government standards an instant success, and forcing Democrats look for alternative ways to compensate auto retailers for the deeply-discounted deals they've made on some 457,000 vehicles. Many car dealers have yet to receive a nickel from the federal government after waving goodbye to dozens of customers who drove off of their lots in new cars marked down by up to $4,500. However, President Barack Obama today told dealers not to "worry about reimbursement because if cash runs out, we...
  • Obama Plan Creates Public Option Malpractice Law Firm

    08/19/2009 12:31:36 PM PDT · by jdietz · 8 replies · 519+ views
    Scrappleface.com ^ | 8/19/09 | Scott Ott
    I don't know if this has been posted but follow the link to the Washington Examiner. As usual Scott is on right on track.
  • Obama Pardons NH Woman Who Touched Hem of Trousers

    08/17/2009 1:00:39 PM PDT · by rightwingintelligentsia · 29 replies · 2,079+ views
    Scrappleface ^ | Augsut 12, 2009 | Scott Ott
    An ailing woman who slipped a Secret Service cordon to touch the hem of President Barack Obama’s trousers before yesterday’s health care townhall meeting in New Hampshire has received a full pardon from the president, the White House said today. Secret Service agents took the unnamed Granite State resident into custody after her fingertips grazed the fringe of Mr. Obama’s left pant, in what she later said was an attempt to get care for a chronic blood discharge she has suffered for 12 years, but for which she has failed to seek treatment due to worries that emergency room staff...