Obama Pardons NH Woman Who Touched Hem of Trousers

Scrappleface ^ | Augsut 12, 2009 | Scott Ott

[rightwingintelligentsia]

An ailing woman who slipped a Secret Service cordon to touch the hem of President Barack Obama’s trousers before yesterday’s health care townhall meeting in New Hampshire has received a full pardon from the president, the White House said today.

Secret Service agents took the unnamed Granite State resident into custody after her fingertips grazed the fringe of Mr. Obama’s left pant, in what she later said was an attempt to get care for a chronic blood discharge she has suffered for 12 years, but for which she has failed to seek treatment due to worries that emergency room staff would frown on her lack of insurance coverage.

“I know that anyone who walks into an E.R. in the U.S. will get treatment,” she said. “But the specter of facing questions about my immigration status, or my income terrified me more than the persistent flow of blood which has plagued me, lo, these many years.”

The woman said she believes the president “can do things no mere mortal can do, like create a health care system that covers 47 million more people without adding a dime to the federal deficit and without rationing care.”

[WayneM]

BWAHAHAHA!

[the OlLine Rebel]

LOL

[tet68]

Hahaha, scrappleface.

I was about to reply,”lo, these many years.”
who the hell talks like that?

[SlowBoat407]

After which The Obama read from the sacred TOTUS the words, “by your faith, you have been added to the health database.”

[beaversmom]

It’s getting harder and harder to tell satire from real life.

[Hans]

It is so very real. the god-man growing by his goodness, ever more saintly and powerful until the light flows from him and the woman helpers, Nancy and Barbara fall on the knees and sing at the beauty of it.

[Alex Murphy]

Scrappleface.....bwahahahahaha

[rockabyebaby]

This isn’t that far fetched is it!

[2sheds]

Ain’t that the truth. If posted alone with no source link I’d think “ Y’know, there probably ARE folks who would do this! “

[Right Wing Assault]

And obie One said unto her, “Sister, your audacity of hope and change has saved you. When Sort of Almost Universal Public Option Health Care is put into place, you will be cured after the traditional 12 month wait. Go and be healed in a year or so. And tell no one, since it will make the SAUPOHC look bad.”

[mnehring]

lol

[radiohead]

<“by your faith, you have been added to the health database.”

ROFLMAO!!!

[Vinnie]

Was she cured?

[353FMG]

Now THAT was funny!! Nothing was said if Obama told her to go home and sin no more but from now on to vote Democrap.

[SpinnerWebb]

Was she cured?

In a way, yes... she qualified for assisted end-of-life care. She certainly suffers no longer.

[Bobalu]

Parody and ridicule can make anyone look the fool.
And with Obama, it's almost too easy :-)

The jokes just write themselves...

[ryan71]

Obama: Walk, Walk! I command you.

Lady walks...

Obama: You're healed!

Lady: Hell, I could always walk. Problem is I'm blind!

[Bobalu]

[dirtymac]

It isn't that far fectched especially if you take into consideration that Jesus was only able to feed thousands of people from a loaf of bread and a few small fish and still ended up with a 12 basket surplus. Obama will provide for 47,000,000 at zero expense. He (Obama) doesn't even need to start with a loaf of bread since he is actually Trillions of dollars in debt.

Obama also has a miraculous birth in his background; born in Kenya and also in two hospitals in Hawaii, and all the people involved swear to it. We know almost nothing of what he did or said for the time from his birth to the time he started his ministry. . erh, candidacy.