Posted on 08/29/2004 4:44:09 AM PDT by stockpirate
To: stockpirate I am not sure this is the proper place to put this...but here goes... To All The Vets of Viet Nam,
I was born in 1955, a baby boomer...into an alcoholic and abusive family. I was 14 years old when Woodstock rocked this nation. I remember standing in front of a 12" black and white set watching it unfold on the 6 o'clock news. I also remember my father using the term..".long haired hippie pukes" and being totally disgusted with the whole mess. Being 14 with a father who like to use his fists..I naturally rejected anything he said as any kind of truth. He had lost my affection and my trust many years ago. My father also told the story of being wounded in the Korean war...he even had a scar to prove it. I later found out when I got older, that he had spent the entire war in England..so much for his credibilty.
My mother thought it would be good to alert me at that tender age of 14 about the drug scene that was waiting to prey upon me. She handed me a bunch of Life magazines with an expose of the underground culture of drugs. Living in a small town in Central NY..this was definitely a foreign concept. I was mesmerized by the pictures of hippies and the freedom they appeared to have. Oh how I longed to have a place in this world where I could breathe without fear of being hit. I was ripe for the picking.Within 6 months I found myself hobknobbing with drug dealers and the like.
The next couple of years I was entrenched in the drug scene..my friends were of like thinking..we had all bought into the Love, Peace, Free Sex and drugs doctrine being perpetuated on the youth of this nation. I became a sympathizer of the likes of Abby Hoffman and Jerry Rubin. Their books became gospel for me....I devoured the book.."Soul on Ice" by Eldredge Cleaver. I hated the Viet Nam war...not because of it's political significance...but the idea of war and chaos in general. I had seen too much of that as I was growing up...I longed for peace in my soul. I drank and drugged to relieve some of the inner pain.
I bought into anything that my father hated....and hated anything he bought into. My father was a veteran and stood by the President..even though he was a democrat.....He stood by his brothers in arms. So it was natural for me to take the opposing view. I hated war. Our little town had 3 casualties in the Viet Nam war..two of whom rode on my school bus....they were older than me but each had made a distinct impression on me as I rode the bus....I remember Joe who used to make the sound of a cricket as he ran his fingers along the roof of the bus...he was so tall!!..and Ron was the cute older brther of my sister's friend. Both gone, both dead and for what purpose? My teenaged brain couldn't comprehend the whole idea of death and war.
In 1975, I was 20 years old...a survivor of years of self abuse through my reckless lifestyle..and now a mother of two children. I sat in front of another TV and watched as they were airlifting people out of Saigon. A plane full of refugees were taking off when the plane, carrying children, crashed on takeoff. I sat in front of the TV set and cried...sobs coming from somewhere so deep inside of me....I realised as I was sitting there...that this was the first time I had ever cried for anyone else but myself. My heart was starting to unthaw from years of guarding it.
When the war ended I didn't abuse the vets who had served bravely for my country, no my attitude was worse than any abuse bestowed on them...mine was one of indifference, one of apathy, a "so what and who cares attitude." I never spoke a word that brought shame to a vet, but my heart was full of hatred for anyone who would willingly go and make war.
On Memorial Day, my father would put on his legion uniform and march in the parade and shoot his gun off at the village green in remembrance of those fallen. I watched with a mocking spirit within me. It was a big deal to him (dad) when he became post commander..all I could see was another opportunity for him to drink. I saw him as a hypocrit..a man who espoused peace and freedom ...who oppressed his family with violence and bondage.
But something happened to me over the years...an ideological change, a paradigm shift of thought. I woke up in the mid 1990's and I found myself with the same ideals my father had about his country. I fell in love with where I live and what it stands for. Maybe it was watching my children growing up and wanting better for them or Maybe it was watching CNN during the first Gulf war knowing my brother was in a tank somewhere inside Iraq... or maybe it was the day I sent my youngest son off to the Marines for safe keeping. Maybe it was coming to have faith in Christ. But something definitely changed within me. Maybe it was turning off the TV for a moment and allowing God to speak to me without all the static.
I joined Free Republic over a year ago at the request of a friend. And today I watched a video clip of the VVAW throwing their medals. I must have watched it 6 times. It was this clip that prompted me to write this piece. After so many years I wonder if it would really make any difference to the men and women who served our country by going to Viet nam, if I were to say.. from the bottom of my heart...that I AM SO SORRY for not giving you the Honor you so richly deserve. I am sorry for the indifference I showed you when you returned...of turning my eyes and closing my ears.. when I heard a derogatory remark aimed at you. Would it make a difference if I told you that I am proud of the service you gave to us on behalf of our freedom..that I appreciate your sacrifices and the blood shed for the freedom we all share today. It is 30 years late but I couldn't let another day pass with writing these thoughts down.Please Forgive Me.....
There is more joy in heaven over the one lost "sheep" who was found than over the 99 sheep who were never lost. Great wounds can be healed after forgiveness is applied.
Amazing - change the dates and details a little and this could be my family and my life.
While in Virginia on vacation in 2002, my family stayed in a hotel that housed a lot of *overflow* Pentagon soldiers (from other regions of the country).
Every morning during the contintental breakfast, I made it my mission to approach a different soldier and make sure they knew when they went to work that one American family was grateful for their service. Most looked at me in shock and then the smiling began . . . I met some wonderful people and healed a little of my past.
Thanks for your heart felt confession. It brought tears to my eyes. I am of the same vintage, but was always conservative leaning in my politics (family influence, I suppose). The picture I remember most from that era is the one of the teenage girl in the short plaid skirt and platform shoes running as fast as she can into the arms of her returning Dad. That's the kind of welcome ALL veterans, no matter what the war, deserve.
I hope we've all learned a lesson. Confessions like yours will go a LONG way in healing long time buried wounds.
I have spoken to many Viet vets who have said what they saw or experienced or did made them sick. Some have expanded on it, some can't bring themselves to talk about it in depth. Calley wasn't an exception nor was he the rule.
The events show our efforts were correct? Explain. We didn't beat back communism in that area. It still flourishes. Maybe there are normalized relationships with many of those countries, but they are far from being freedom loving, capitalistic republics.
And yes it is the truth that matters. I'm no Kerry kool-aid drinker, os obviously you've missed some truths too. But I also don't believe this President is God's hand picked choice for leadership at this moment. He's the (much) better of the two terribly imperfect but viable candidates we have at this moment. Seems the President has been looking for truth too as in for the past 16 months we understood the resistance we'd encounter vs this past weeks admisssion we underestimated that resistance.
As I said, even if Kerry's testimony was spot on, at this point in history, the Swifty's probably would have been there in the same capacity as we've seen.
Another ASA guy from the same period and earlier here. Welcome home brother.
Everyone is sorry for everything, these days. It's the 'hip' thing to do, I suppose.
Joe,
It’s not your fault. You have been exposed to the most relentless brainwashing this side of the Gulag.
I can understand how you can believe in widespread war crimes even though you were never in the military. You were told by people with authority.
I can understand how you can believe that there is a “code” that bonds the military to cover up war crimes. You were told by people with authority.
I can understand why you now want to give an “atta boy” those who served honorably because that is now the tenor of those who “speak with authority.”
After all, if we do not honor those who fought in Viet Nam, where would Kerry’s candidacy be?
So I can understand your position, and your tortured soul.
This being Sunday, when I am in church, I will pray for you. I will pray that God’s Holy Spirit descends on you and brings you peace.
To those who would flame Joe:
Please don’t.
He is not responsible for his beliefs. Attacks will only convince him he is right. Pray for his enlightenment.
Peace and love.
To the Freeper who wrote this. You're soul searching is so well written it made me cry. Oh that so many others of your generation could come to understand half as much as you have. God bless.
When the Vietnam Vets returned home to a less-than honorable reception, I was working for a large corporation in Memphis, TN, and a returning Vet occupied the desk next to me. All along, I had been silent on the "war" issue, but I was watching and listening. When I saw the hurt and bitterness in the eyes of my coworker, somehow I was able to "get it" -- to understand the injustice to our county caused by the anti-war movement.
My only regret was that I didn't articulate my thanks to my coworker. I don't recall his last name, but his first name was Walter. If you are reading this, "Thank you for your service, Walter."
Speaking only for myself, I do appreciate the thanks. But in the end the best medicine for most vets will be a Kerry defeat. It will be so cathartic. The monkey will be off our backs once and for all.
It will be a repudiation of those that flew Viet Cong flags durign the war.
And I thank you for your support and prayers going forward, if they will be truly given. I hope I and many others lay heavy on your heart forever, especially if we've been mischaracterized.
Welcome home, you're with friends now.
Though I am 4 years younger, being born 1959, this reads very much like my own experience. Though I am male and my father was not abusive.
I too embraced the hippy/druggy lifestyle till my son was born in 1986. Thats when I dropped the drugs but it took 9/11 to wake me up politically.
We came of age in the 70's - I was 15 when the war ended. We saw the 60's as some magical golden age where Jimi played Purple Haze and everyone did acid, smoked weed and got laid. That was our vision and thats basically what we did too. We showed our middle finger to our parents and the "pigs". The war protesters of the 60's and early 70's seemed noble, brave and wise.
It took 30 years for me to realize what a crock that was.
So here's another apology, for what it's worth...
Welcome home...
I was in the Air Force and turned 21 in 'Nam, and the realization that I was unwelcome when I came home affected me a great deal. I tended to be anti-social and avoided being around others not in my (career) military circles.
The deeply ingrained sentiment (courtesy of Hanoi Jane and John and their contemporaries) of the public at large was brought home to me in the late '90's when I particpated in an HR sponsored management sensitivity training class conducted by a large corporation where I was employed. We were there to improve our ability to relate to minorities and other oft oppressed types that exist in our culture, specifically in the workplace.
Various stereotypes were the focus of the exercise and different categories of people were written on large sheets of paper taped to the walls. Each participant had to make a stereotypical comment under each heading. One of the headings was "Viet Nam Veteran". My entry under that one was hated.
After the session the instructor came to me privately, and apologized for even including that category. She explained that had she known there was actually a Viet Nam Vet in the group, she wouldn't have included it because of how I might react and for the safety of the group at large.
I was stunned by the (false) impression so deeply ingrained in her comments and I reassured her I was long past any negative reaction to being a member of that group and that the comments others wrote didn't bother me.
Point of this story being: time passes and you either move beyond unpleasant situations in your life or you withdraw completely from participation in society (like many actually did). I felt sorry for my instructor and those who share(d) her view of a group of people who are finally getting a chance to clear the record via the activities of the Swiftees.
Welcome home! If you have any lost friends, neighbors, buddies, talk to them, enlighten them, bring them to vote for real Commander - W and not for sKerry commie jerk.
few would dispute that the end was as undesirable as can only be imagined by those who didn't serve and felt they didn't have a dog in that fight. But for those of us who did, it was anything but a political experience. It was an attempt to stop the continuing onslaught of Marxism throughout the world. And to many of us it was then an continues to be in retrospect both just and honorable. We didn't lose that war on the battlefields of Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia. We lost it here at home from the leftist activists like Kerry, from the leftist politicians who had no honor, and from the millions of Americans who looked the other way and felt they had no dog in that fight.
That being said, we know that some of the things Kerry testified to took place. How much and how often will never be known. Same for the war we are currently engaged.
Yes, Mi Lai happened, but if you really are interested, read a bit on the Winter Soldier "Hearings" to find out that the stories told were filled with lies; fraud was the method used to create this impression. And for many Americans who turned their heads away from Vietnam, it continues to be a safe haven...to keep their consciences from asking those tough questions about duty, honor and country.
There have been outrages committed in every conflict known to man. It's easy for you to say "We'll never know". But I know. Most warriors conducted themselves with honor and courage. Just as today, nobody cares about the hospitals, schools, food and water programs...lifting millions from the yoke of oppression. They would much rather believe those who rant about the occasional violation of the Geneva Convention. And yes, if it weren't for the pictures, who knows? But just like Mi Lai, sooner or later outrages will always come to light. There is no "code" that keeps these things under wraps forever.
My feeling is even if Kerry's testimony was spot on in '71, the Swift Boat folks would have come forward to slay him, because of the "code". Frankly, I don't know if how close to being accurate or far from being the truth it was.
If you don't know how accurate or far from the truth it was, you have an obligation to find out as an American, not as a partisan. There is plenty of material available including the book, Kerry's own writings and speeches, and the FBI files.
You say the Swift Boat folks came forward to slay Kerry because of the "code". Funny, you have referred to this "code" as if it were some sinister, dark set of rules unknown to the uninitiated and Innocent. The code is quite simple, really. It's honor and truth, both values, neither of which you will find in the VVAW, the Winter Soldier hearings, or those in Congress who sold their souls to advance the cause of the left.
Thanks for the post. I hope the person who wrote it reads everything posted here and realizes what a good thing this post has been.
I've said it before and I'm happy to say it again: Thank you to all the Vets and may God Bless our troops, past and present, for keeping us safe and free.
No disagreement. Most did. Many did not.
We didn't lose that war on the battlefields of Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia. We lost it here at home from the leftist activists like Kerry, from the leftist politicians who had no honor,
Much of the protest happened long before 1971. Even Nixon was trying to get out early in his first term; he simply tried to do it with the crazy notion of "Peace with Honor".
you have referred to this "code" as if it were some sinister, dark set of rules unknown to the uninitiated and Innocent. The code is quite simple, really. It's honor and truth, both values,
The code is often used to, and as a tool of, coverup. The code, as it should be executed, is honor, even when it hurts.
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