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Father Of 5-Year-Old Pterodactyl Finds It's Not Easy To Get Species-Affirming Care In America
Babylon Bee ^ | Apr 9, 2022 | Babylon Bee Staff

Posted on 04/11/2022 9:05:43 AM PDT by dayglored

HOUSTON, TXโ€”Local man and father of a 5-year-old trans pterodactyl Bradley Mingastank is struggling to find the medical care his young dinosaur son needs, as it is very difficult to find species-affirming care in the United States.

"Seriously, it's 2022, and we still haven't figured out how to provide adequate medical care to children who think they're extinct flying lizards," said Mingastank. "I do my best to raise my son Madison as a pterodactyl per his wishes, which is important for his self-esteem. I only communicate to him in ear-piercing dinosaur screeches, I feed him small rodents and fish, and every once in a while I push him off the roof of the garage so he can try flying. But no other doctors seem to be willing to help him get the ultraviolet heat lamps and lizard medicine his pterodactyl body desperately needs."

According to sources within the family, Madison first discovered his true pterodactyl identity when he put on a Halloween costume and then refused to take it off. It was then his parents knew he was a dinosaur trapped in a human child's body.

"According to science, If someone thinks they are something, then they are automatically that thing, and the whole world must pretend they are that thing or they'll die. That's just proven science," said Mingastank as he called a veterinarian to set up an appointment for his son.

UPDATE: Madison has changed his mind and has decided he is now a sea lion. His parents are currently looking for a giant aquarium to keep him in.

Link to the article on the Babylon Bee site


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; pterodactyl; satire; transgender; transspecies
It's the Bee. Laugh!
1 posted on 04/11/2022 9:05:43 AM PDT by dayglored
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To: dayglored

“Father Of 5-Year-Old Pterodactyl Finds It’s Not Easy To Get Species-Affirming Care In America”

He should have identified as a gay, transgender Pterodactyl of color and getting all the help he needed ... NO Problemo


2 posted on 04/11/2022 9:14:29 AM PDT by antidemoncrat
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To: dayglored

Heh; had me there for a minute...


3 posted on 04/11/2022 9:16:24 AM PDT by Carriage Hill (A society grows great when old men plant trees, in whose shade they know they will never sit.)
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To: Whenifhow; null and void; aragorn; EnigmaticAnomaly; kalee; Kale; AZ .44 MAG; Baynative; bgill; ...

p


4 posted on 04/11/2022 9:16:37 AM PDT by bitt ( <img src=' 'width=50%> )
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To: dayglored

Dang it! I’ve gotta learn to check the source before I start reading.

Avoid the confusion, feeling stupid, then laughing.


5 posted on 04/11/2022 9:17:05 AM PDT by budj (Combat vet, 2nd of three generations.)
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To: dayglored
OMG....I started to read it...and say what???

LOL

6 posted on 04/11/2022 9:18:17 AM PDT by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: dayglored
They ripped off best selling LBGTQ+ author Matt Walsh's "Johnny the Walrus".
7 posted on 04/11/2022 9:21:10 AM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (It is better to light a single flame thrower then curse the darkness. A bunch of them is better yet)
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To: antidemoncrat
> ...Pterodactyl of color ...

"GREEN" is a color.

But it's not easy being green.

Maybe that's why he's now a sea lion.

8 posted on 04/11/2022 9:22:19 AM PDT by dayglored ("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
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To: carriage_hill

“Heh; had me there for a minute...”

Me too. It’s sad that I believed it for a moment.


9 posted on 04/11/2022 9:27:05 AM PDT by dljordan
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To: dayglored

OK, kid. Let’s see you fly.


10 posted on 04/11/2022 9:27:16 AM PDT by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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To: dayglored

They have a good imagination.


11 posted on 04/11/2022 9:29:35 AM PDT by Red6
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To: Huskrrrr

Just a few more shoves off the garage ought to do it.


12 posted on 04/11/2022 9:30:55 AM PDT by chaosagent (Remember, no matter how you slice it, forbidden fruit still tastes the sweetest!)
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To: dayglored

I was fooled by the Bee.


13 posted on 04/11/2022 9:57:17 AM PDT by BarbM (Men who look at porn are impotent to God. )
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To: dljordan

That’s 60+secs we’ll never get back...


14 posted on 04/11/2022 9:59:26 AM PDT by Carriage Hill (A society grows great when old men plant trees, in whose shade they know they will never sit.)
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To: carriage_hill
> Thatโ€™s 60+secs weโ€™ll never get back...

True, but poking fun at insane leftists does have some intrinsic value, if only for a laugh on a Monday morning.

15 posted on 04/11/2022 10:10:27 AM PDT by dayglored ("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
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To: dayglored

I do enjoy it. At this point in life, I can afford 60+secs...


16 posted on 04/11/2022 10:11:07 AM PDT by Carriage Hill (A society grows great when old men plant trees, in whose shade they know they will never sit.)
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To: antidemoncrat

Obvious pterodactyl discrimination.


17 posted on 04/11/2022 11:39:03 AM PDT by seowulf (Civilization begins with order, grows with liberty, and dies with chaos...Will Durant)
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To: Huskrrrr

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


18 posted on 04/11/2022 12:22:58 PM PDT by Dottiesmom (I am so tired of dealing with liberals...)
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To: dayglored; Fred Nerks

Give that yougster an egg to sit on and hatch.......he needs to learn social responsibility!

INCUBATION NATION!


19 posted on 04/11/2022 3:37:54 PM PDT by Candor7 (ObamaFascism:https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2009/05/barack_obama_the_quintessentia_1.html)
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To: dayglored

Funny as usual from the Bee...


20 posted on 04/12/2022 4:58:09 AM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (I'm the ones trying to save American Democracy...Donald Trump 6/21 at the NCGOP convention! )
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