Father Of 5-Year-Old Pterodactyl Finds It's Not Easy To Get Species-Affirming Care In America

Babylon Bee ^ | Apr 9, 2022 | Babylon Bee Staff

[dayglored]

HOUSTON, TX—Local man and father of a 5-year-old trans pterodactyl Bradley Mingastank is struggling to find the medical care his young dinosaur son needs, as it is very difficult to find species-affirming care in the United States.

"Seriously, it's 2022, and we still haven't figured out how to provide adequate medical care to children who think they're extinct flying lizards," said Mingastank. "I do my best to raise my son Madison as a pterodactyl per his wishes, which is important for his self-esteem. I only communicate to him in ear-piercing dinosaur screeches, I feed him small rodents and fish, and every once in a while I push him off the roof of the garage so he can try flying. But no other doctors seem to be willing to help him get the ultraviolet heat lamps and lizard medicine his pterodactyl body desperately needs."

According to sources within the family, Madison first discovered his true pterodactyl identity when he put on a Halloween costume and then refused to take it off. It was then his parents knew he was a dinosaur trapped in a human child's body.

"According to science, If someone thinks they are something, then they are automatically that thing, and the whole world must pretend they are that thing or they'll die. That's just proven science," said Mingastank as he called a veterinarian to set up an appointment for his son.

UPDATE: Madison has changed his mind and has decided he is now a sea lion. His parents are currently looking for a giant aquarium to keep him in.

Link to the article on the Babylon Bee site

[dayglored]

It's the Bee. Laugh!

[antidemoncrat]

“Father Of 5-Year-Old Pterodactyl Finds It’s Not Easy To Get Species-Affirming Care In America”

He should have identified as a gay, transgender Pterodactyl of color and getting all the help he needed ... NO Problemo

[Carriage Hill]

Heh; had me there for a minute...

[bitt]

p

[budj]

Dang it! I’ve gotta learn to check the source before I start reading.

Avoid the confusion, feeling stupid, then laughing.

[Sacajaweau]

OMG....I started to read it...and say what???

LOL

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

They ripped off best selling LBGTQ+ author Matt Walsh's "Johnny the Walrus".

[dayglored]

> ...Pterodactyl of color ...

"GREEN" is a color.

But it's not easy being green.

Maybe that's why he's now a sea lion.

[dljordan]

“Heh; had me there for a minute...”

Me too. It’s sad that I believed it for a moment.

[Huskrrrr]

OK, kid. Let’s see you fly.

[Red6]

They have a good imagination.

[chaosagent]

Just a few more shoves off the garage ought to do it.

[BarbM]

I was fooled by the Bee.

[Carriage Hill]

That’s 60+secs we’ll never get back...

[dayglored]

> That’s 60+secs we’ll never get back...

True, but poking fun at insane leftists does have some intrinsic value, if only for a laugh on a Monday morning.

[Carriage Hill]

I do enjoy it. At this point in life, I can afford 60+secs...

[seowulf]

Obvious pterodactyl discrimination.

[Dottiesmom]

👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼😂😂

[Candor7]

Give that yougster an egg to sit on and hatch.......he needs to learn social responsibility!

INCUBATION NATION!

[Deplorable American1776]

Funny as usual from the Bee...