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FDA Recommends Pouring All Pumpkin Spice-Flavored Beverages Down Drain
The Babylon Bee ^
| August 29, 2018
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 09/01/2019 4:47:41 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
U.S —As the nation plunges headlong into another fall season, the FDA has officially recommended pouring all pumpkin spice flavored beverages down the nearest drain immediately.
Stressing that they are “all just completely abhorrent and disgusting,” a spokesman for the agency confirmed Wednesday that the only safe and honorable course of action when confronted with a pumpkin spice latte, coffee, or beer this autumn is to quickly and without hesitation open the beverage and dump every drop of it down a nearby drain or toilet.
The FDA further advised caution when dumping the drinks, warning against accidentally spilling or splashing the repulsive liquids onto one’s skin or clothing, and recommended wearing a nose plug during the act to guard against inhaling any noxious fumes.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: autumn; babylonbee; beer; coffee; fda; fersure; forreal; funny; hahaha; hyperbole; impish; jumptheshark; notso; orilly; overthetop; parody; publicsafety; pumpkinspice; sarcasm; satire
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Stay safe this fall!
To: 100American; al baby; Allegra; BufordP; EveningStar; Gefn; GunsareOK; JRios1968; Lazamataz; ...
2
posted on
09/01/2019 4:48:21 PM PDT
by
Tolerance Sucks Rocks
(Show me the people who own the land, the guns and the money, and I'll show you the people in charge.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
3
posted on
09/01/2019 4:49:13 PM PDT
by
EEGator
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
While I agree that pumpkin flavored drinks are abhorrent, you have to think the article is satire.
4
posted on
09/01/2019 4:50:31 PM PDT
by
buckalfa
(Earth First ! We Will Strip Mine The Other Planets Later !)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
...the only safe and honorable course of action....LOL
5
posted on
09/01/2019 4:50:45 PM PDT
by
Yardstick
To: buckalfa
That’s because it is. Please check the keywords.
6
posted on
09/01/2019 4:51:32 PM PDT
by
Tolerance Sucks Rocks
(Show me the people who own the land, the guns and the money, and I'll show you the people in charge.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Oh the horror!
All those pumpkins giving their lives in vane
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
8
posted on
09/01/2019 4:56:04 PM PDT
by
SkyDancer
( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Rats. Just saw where it came from . Oops.
9
posted on
09/01/2019 4:56:35 PM PDT
by
SkyDancer
( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
well... i plan on pouring a LOT of the local pumpkin spice beer down my throat
10
posted on
09/01/2019 5:00:26 PM PDT
by
Chode
(Send bachelors, and come heavily armed!)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
If you do get any of that stuff on your skin, high amputation is the only successful remedy. If the patient starts telling you his or her personal pronouns, it’s too late.
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
That’s so funny. The Bee.
I have to agree about that pumpkin spiced coffee, though. Ick. Any flavored coffee for that matter.
12
posted on
09/01/2019 5:03:59 PM PDT
by
MayflowerMadam
("The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly." A. Lincoln)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Don’t toss all those pumpkin spiced foods/beverages ! Send them to ME!
13
posted on
09/01/2019 5:05:14 PM PDT
by
Exit148
( (Loose Change Club founder) Put yours aside for the next Freepathon!110)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Nothing says autumn more like a Pumpkin spice beer or latte.
Actually my favorite time of year. I do like the taste of the pumpkin. Also, all the colors in the trees. And the crisp, cool mornings in which you can go hiking in the woods without being bothered by mosquitoes and biting flies. There are deer out there!
To: MayflowerMadam
How about coffee flavored pumpkin spice? But I’m with you. Leave my coffee alone. (Except for the occasional mocha.)
15
posted on
09/01/2019 5:12:55 PM PDT
by
Exit148
( (Loose Change Club founder) Put yours aside for the next Freepathon!110)
To: Billthedrill
16
posted on
09/01/2019 5:13:54 PM PDT
by
Delta 21
(Be strong & prosper, be weak & die! Stay true.... ~~ Donald J. Trump)
To: Exit148
“How about coffee flavored pumpkin spice?”
OhHellNo. Not even creamer or sweetener. Black.
17
posted on
09/01/2019 5:14:53 PM PDT
by
MayflowerMadam
("The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly." A. Lincoln)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
18
posted on
09/01/2019 5:15:00 PM PDT
by
freedumb2003
(As always IMHO)
To: buckalfa
It’s BB - took over from The Onion as best satire site.
19
posted on
09/01/2019 5:16:49 PM PDT
by
freedumb2003
(As always IMHO)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
OVALTINE????
20
posted on
09/01/2019 5:17:44 PM PDT
by
Cvengr
( Adversity in life & death is inevitable; Stress is optional through faith in Christ.)
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