Free Republic

Aliens are backing Santorum, so Romney reached out and won the support of American Zombies!

Robert Gibbs, the White House press secretary suddenly resigned from his post which forced many to came out with their own speculations. But rumours said, Gibbs became the victim of the first lady, Michelle Obama's scorn as report revealed that Mrs Obama got angry with Gibbs after he disclosed about her "pregnancy." US President Obama, stating about Gibbs, said, "sad...Gibbs would temporarily...lose his mind...and reveal Michelle's pregnancy to the public." Few days back, Gibbs, in conversation with media, disclosed about Mrs Obama's pregnancy, though he did not confirm or deny the rumor directly. However, WWN has confirmed that Michelle Obama...

LOS ANGELES, CA – The internet has been abuzz since this Sunday’s Golden Globes ceremony, where Megan Fox jokingly remarked that she looked like a man. When interviewed on the red carpet, she said “I look like Alan Alda in drag. I’m a tranny. I’m a man.” At the time, reporters passed it off as a jovial attempt to cover for her nerves. However, today she has cleared the air and officially reported: she’s really a man. Megan Fox was born Mitchell Reed Fox in Rockwood, Tennessee. From an early age, Mitchell showed an interest in both performing and women’s...

Seems some movie star named Megan Fox did what Hollywood types do best: bad mouthing the U.S. of A. to a bunch of foreigners! Megan Fox is in some kind of giant robot movie, and she wishes that instead of destroying the world, the giant robot would “just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America.” This is pretty crazy, since Megan Fox herself is from Tennessee, where the smartest guy is Al Gore, a big fat idiot who wants the rest of us to use windmills while he lives in a giant...

WASHINGTON, DC - In a shocking reversal, the Alien has switched his endorsement from Barack Obama to John McCain. With major implications for the U.S. presidential election, political kingmaker the Alien has changed his endorsement amid furor. Both political camps are buzzing about the implications, as the Alien has correctly predicted the winning president in every election for the past 28 years. Ongoing investigation points to Cindy McCain as being the cause for this historic shift in allegiances.

It's official, Batboy has cleared his schedule and is being escorted around town by Black SUVs. His press office had no comment. This comes as a surprise to some who remember that Batboy offered his coveted endorsement to Al Gore in 2000.

White House security personnel have reportedly booted a young female intern off the staff after discovering she was a mole planted by the Democrats -- on a mission to seduce President George W. Bush! While the mystery woman's name has not been revealed and the strange incident has been hushed up, administration sources claim that sneaky Democrats cooked up the botched scheme, hoping to create a Monica Lewinsky-type scandal and unseat Bush. "The infiltrator was unmasked within six weeks after Inauguration Day," said a high-level Republican Party source. "Because of the swift actions taken by the White House staff, this...

Mystery! Horror! a Supermarket Tabloid Calls It Quits MIAMI (AP) -- An angel of death has visited Earth! Aliens have pulled off an abduction! A mystery ailment has claimed a victim! Weekly World News, the tabloid that for 28 years has chronicled sightings of Elvis, extraterrestrial activity and the exploits of Bat Boy, is no more. Its publisher said Tuesday it would put out its last issue next month, maintaining only a Web presence. What does it mean for a black-and-white staple that has delivered news of such historical proportions as Bigfoot's capture of a lumberjack he kept as his...

The B.S. Raleigh Tobacco Company is fighting back. They're tired of people enjoying their products for free. That's why they've filed a $5 billion classaction lawsuit to penalize millions of secondhand smokers. "If people ain't gonna buy our cigarettes, they shouldn't be able to enjoy other people's smoke," declared Raleigh President Frank Thermal. B.S. Raleigh, which gives consumers a complimentary lung X-ray with every 50 cartons smoked, currently employs 3,000 people, but Thermal expects that number to double when on-leave workers return from cancer, emphysema and heart disease treatment. Lorraine Wilson, 49, founder of the Environmental Tobacco Smokers Society, sucks...

MARSEILLES, France -- Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother! "I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would. "But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock of our...

LESBIAN mom Kim Marshall wants doctors to turn her adopted baby boy into a baby girl with a full-blown sex change -- now! And if somebody, somewhere, doesn't bring pressure to bear on the woman's plans, toddling 2-year-old Tommy Marshall will soon be toddling "Tammy." "Looking back on it, I never should have adopted a boy, but he was all that was available and I took what I could get because I was desperate," says Marshall, whose significant other, Rosemary Johnson, says she "hasn't been real happy with a boy," either. "It's not that Tommy isn't a sweet kid --...