At His Majesty's Superior Residency, begun and held in Washington, D.C. in the fifth reign of Barack Obama I, by the grace of Government, socialism, political correctness, and social justice, King, Defender of the Faithless, has, by his greatness, and moral superiority, thus declared that the racist and bigoted offensive name Washington "REDSKINS" should be changed to a more fitting and progressive title, worthy of the mediocrity it so deserves.