Free Republic

BETHESDA, MD—A nurse working at Walter Reed Medical Center checked in on Trump but was shocked to discover his room was empty. She looked out the window, and sure enough, he had tied bedsheets together and escaped. Just then, the nurse noticed a cup of Diet Coke left by the bedside began to ripple and shake. "Oh, no," she murmured. "Not again!" Looking out the window, she saw a speck on the horizon. A rapidly growing speck. It was Trump, gloriously flying by in an F-22 fighter jet. "Sorry, Pence -- but it's time to buzz the tower!" Trump radioed...

WILMINGTON, DE—A shaken and dazed Joe Biden told reporters today about a terrifying encounter he had just experienced. Biden had emerged from his basement to get a few groceries, and on his way back he was ambushed in an alleyway by President Trump. “No Chris Wallace to save you now!” Trump reportedly yelled, and then proceeded to engage in a completely unregulated debate, screaming at Biden about how great the economy is doing and how Biden is completely beholden to the left wing of his party. Cornered and with no moderator, Biden was unable to resist. He tried yelling back...

The New York Times’s election night coverage was a wide-ranging affair: live forecasts, an interactive map with real-time updates, an online chat between a handful of political reporters — not to mention more traditional reporting. But the drama of election night was also conveyed, in retrospect, by the changing headlines that topped The Times’s home page: 13 of them, in all.