Keyword: smile
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The identification of another ultra-large structure in remote space continues to defy our understanding of the cosmos. The Big Ring is made up of galaxies and galaxy clusters. Scientists have found an enormous ring-shaped structure called the Big Ring, positioned an astonishing 9.2 billion light-years away from Earth. This massive cosmic formation is made up of galaxies and clusters of galaxies, with a diameter of approximately 1.3 billion light-years and a total circumference of around 4 billion light-years. To help grasp its size, envision that if you could somehow observe the Big Ring directly, it would stretch across the night...
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An Oklahoma teen is on top of the world after winning a car last month at a funeral 30 miles away from her home — fulfilling the last wish of a woman she had never even met. ...She died suddenly on July 7, 2022 — and just a few weeks before had told her nephew that when she died, she wanted to gift one of her prized possessions — a 2016 Volkswagen Beetle — to someone who attended the funeral. "We put it in the local paper," Ingram said. "That her wish is that whoever comes to the funeral —...
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Protesters blockade a road. Tribal Rangers don't play. (Video)
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MSNBC host Nicolle Wallace eagerly touted former President Donald Trump traveling to a violent Atlanta jail for his booking, appearing to stifle a smile Thursday as she recounted the facility is known for stabbings and fatalities. Trump reported to the Fulton County jail to be booked following an indictment from District Attorney Fani Willis over alleged 2020 election interference in the state. "Just a few minutes ago, Donald Trump, the disgraced ex-president, the frontrunner for the Republican nominee for president, four times indicted, departed his golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey. He’s en route to Fulton County, Georgia," Wallace explained...
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Last week, the company announced that beginning Feb. 1, the centralized monopoly will no longer help support local charities, including youth athletic associations. Instead, it will donate to social justice and social responsibility initiatives that work on a larger scale, like affordable housing and other entities that align with its values.
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Time for a little laughter ... You need to think around "old people". 😅 .. "An old woman walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. He looked at the woman and laughed, "Hey old woman, have you ever danced?" The woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No ... I never did dance ... Never really wanted to" A...
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Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. Me: That’s quite the age difference! Patient: Well, the older ones didn’t give me any grandkids, so I made my own. —Mria Murillo I tried having my mother’s phone disconnected, but the customer-service rep told me that since the account was in my dad’s name, he’d have to be the one to put in the request. The fact that he’d been dead for 40 years didn’t sway...
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Pasquale died, and in his will he had provided for an elaborate $40,000 funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Angelina turned to her oldest and dearest friend, “Ah, Pasquale would be pleased," she said. "You're right," replied Maria, who then lowered her voice and leaned in close. "So, go on, how much did this really cost?” "All of it," said Angelina. "Forty thousand dollars.” "Aw, No!", Maria exclaimed, "I mean, it was a very grand affair, but $40,000?” Angelina answered, "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The whiskey, wine and snacks were...
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A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills. "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are birth control pills?" "Yes, they help me sleep at night." "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these that could possibly help you sleep!" She reached out and patted...
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The U.S. midterm elections are some 10 months away, but President Biden's administration and allies already foresee a possible scenario in which Republicans take the House of Representatives, the Senate, or both, and launch a series of investigations and attempts to impeach the president. It hired a special advisor, former New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu, to oversee implementation of the $1 trillion infrastructure law, which Republicans would likely scrutinize in search of fraud. "They’ll subpoena everything under the sun," said Richard Painter, former associate counsel under Republican President George W. Bush. “We are going to go after this administrative state,...
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Best Jokes for Seniors Ah, the modern days… I just saw a grandpa help a youngster who was staring into his phone, to cross the street. Patient: “Doctor, you have to help me, I think I can see in the future.” Doctor: “When did it start?” Patient: “Next Friday.” Why aren’t koalas actual bears? They don’t meet the koalafications. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name. What do you call bears with no ears? B–. I told my physical therapist I broke my arm in two places. He told...
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A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?” The man replied to the game warden, “No, sir. These are my pet fish.” “Pet fish?!” the warden replied. “Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home.” “That’s a bunch of crap! Fish...
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1. What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats. 2. What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse! 3. What is Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1. 4. Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie. 5. What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I'm changing! 6. What do you call bears with no ears? B. 7. What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper! 8. Why do French people eat snails? They don't like fast food! 9. What's red and moves up and down? A...
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TWELVE COMMANDMENTS FOR SENIORS! #1 - Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice. #2 - "In Style" are the clothes that still fit. #3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off. #4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work. #5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember" #6 - "On time" is when you get there. #7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound....
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In Ireland, the 99-year-old Mother Superior lay quietly. She was dying. The Nuns had gathered around her bed, laying garlands around her and trying to make her last journey comfortable. They wanted to give her warm milk to drink but she declined. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, they lifted her head gently and held the glass to her lips. The...
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One evening, four brothers chatted together after dinner. They discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "And I had a large theater built in the house." The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her." The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I bought her a parrot who could recite the entire Bible. It took ten...
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If you'd made a bingo card in anticipation of tonight's Miami town hall with President Donald Trump, a few squares would be obvious. Trump says he's feeling better than ever after his COVID-19 diagnosis? Check. A dig at antifa? Sure. A woman telling the president, "You're so handsome when you smile"? No one could have predicted that. ... New Times caught up with Dale on her way home from the town hall — and she made it clear that she is no fan of 45. "I wish he would smile more and talk less," she quipped. Asked to elaborate, Dale...
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MRC President L. Brent Bozell on Monday announced that the Media Research Center would no longer accept money from the AmazonSmile program. Amazon has brushed off conservative concerns about letting an anti-Christian organization like SPLC decide which groups may receive funds. Additionally, Amazon recently tried to censor a book because it didn’t toe the party line on the coronavirus lockdowns. “Any money from Amazon is tainted, hate-filled money that we want nothing to do with,” said MRC President L. Brent Bozell. “The liberal-loving Jeff Bezos and his hacks at Amazon and Washington Post oppose everything we stand for at the...
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Doctors' reports: 1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .' My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald , San Francisco 2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,'. . . I instructed. 'Yes, they...
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Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem. •I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe. •I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. •Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom •Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom. •Homeschooling is going well. 2 students...
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