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Keyword: satiresatire

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  • Nigerian Prince Commits Suicide After Being Rejected While Trying to Give Away His Fortune

    12/01/2018 3:41:03 AM PST · by Lazamataz · 126 replies
    Original content | 12/1/2018 | By Laz A. Mataz
    (AP) Nairobi, Nigeria -- Prince Alab Swalahari was found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his palace in Nairobi on Tuesday. A note next to his body stated that he was despondent that no one would accept his attempt to give away his vast riches. His brother explained, "Alab had converted to Christianity quite some time ago. All he was trying to do was live a Christ-like life! Christ commands us to give our money to the poor. He tried for over 15 years, sending people emails to give away his money, but all he got back was mockery...
  • (Satire) CBS News Reporter Tweets Clinton Campaign Staff Resigning; Hillary MAY DROP OUT

    09/03/2016 3:23:45 AM PDT · by PghBaldy · 190 replies
    Super Station 95 ^ | September 3 | Newsroom Staff
    CBS News political reporter Hannah Chanpong Tweeted -- then quickly DELETED -- a report that Hillary Campaign Staff are RESIGNING and there are worries of Hillary DROPPING OUT of the Presidential Race after yesterday's huge FBI data dump.
  • EEOC Orders Employers to Crack Down on "Anti-Social" Political Views [semi-satire]

    08/08/2016 12:56:15 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 August 2016 | John Semmens
    The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has ordered employers to crack down on employees daring to wear t-shirts or caps with the "Don't Tread on Me" slogan. The slogan traces back to the American Revolution. "What may have been appropriate as an expression of resistance against British subjugation in 1776 is completely inappropriate today," claims EEOC Chairwoman Jenny Yang. "Our government is a democratically elected government. It is not treading on anyone. From time to time our government may have to guide people toward correct thought and behavior. There is no individual right of resistance against this guidance. There is no...
  • Carter Forecasts Obama Win in 2012

    10/30/2011 3:14:08 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 21 replies
    Former President Jimmy Carter confidently predicted the reelection of President Obama next year. Carter accredited his confidence to “the fact that all of the GOP contenders are so far outside of the mainstream that voters will fear to turn over the awesome powers of the presidency to such extremists.” Carter characterized the Republican opposition to what he termed the President’s efforts to create a “more caring and nurturing role for government.” “The notion that individuals want to or are capable of managing for themselves is out of date and out of step with where the American people want to go,”...
  • Palin E-Mails Unsettling

    06/18/2011 2:48:17 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 25 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 16 June 2011 | John Semmens
    The release of more than 20,000 of former Governor Sarah Palin’s e-mails has yielded content that some are calling unsettling. “We noted that on more than one occasion Governor Palin mentioned that she hoped for divine guidance to help her reach the right decision on an issue,” the Associated Press (AP) wrote in an unsigned analysis. “This is wrong on several levels. First, it is an illegal mingling of church and state. There’s supposed to be a wall between the two. Palin breached that wall.” “Second, it implies a certain degree of helplessness on Palin’s part,” the AP continued. “Were...
  • Homeland Security Urges More Citizens to Spy on Neighbors

    06/12/2011 10:59:33 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 16 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 11 June 2011 | John Semmens
    Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano warned Americans not to take the slaying of Osama bin-Laden as a cue to ease up on our vigilance. “Al-Qaeda is not the only threat to our government,” Napolitano said. “Enemies are everywhere.” Because enemies are everywhere Napolitano urged everyone to keep an eye out for signs of trouble. “If you know of people in your neighborhood who have guns let us know,” the Secretary requested. “If you overhear conversations that are critical of government policies or programs give us a call.” Napolitano counseled against “letting hazy conceptions about Constitutional rights deter anyone from...
  • Death of Jose Guereña Blamed on “Right Wing Talk Radio”

    05/28/2011 1:34:06 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 66 replies · 1+ views
    Earlier this month a SWAT team burst into the home of Jose Guereña. Awaken by his wife’s screams that armed men were breaking into the house, Guereña grabbed his rifle to defend his family. The SWAT team shot him 60 times. As Guereña lay bleeding, they blocked paramedics from tending to his wounds. An hour later he died. Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik blamed the “baleful influence of right wing talk radio” for the death. “If it weren’t for the repeated assertions by talk show hosts like Rush Limbaugh that people have a Constitutional right to keep and bear arms...
  • GOVERNMENT EDGES CLOSER TO TOTAL CONTROL OF INTERNET WITH ANTI-PIRACY CENSORSHIP BILL

    05/28/2011 10:38:15 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 15 replies
    With Senate passage of the Preventing Real Online Threats to Economic Creativity and Theft of Intellectual Property Act (PROTECT IP), the US government has moved a step closer to total control over the Internet. Under the Act, the government will be authorized to seize domains, block websites and censor search engines. Senator Patrick Leahy (D-Vermont) emphasized that “the bill is merely an extension of existing authority. It is not new censorship.” The extension was deemed necessary because “rogue websites can escape government control by locating outside the United States. This new law will counter this by allowing the government to...