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Keyword: realityworse

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  • FBI Destroys Ballots [semi-satire]

    03/08/2021 10:11:35 AM PST · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 March 2021 | John Semmens
    In the midst of a forensic investigation of some questioned ballots in Georgia, the FBI seized the ballots. Patrick Byrne, the former CEO of Overstock.com, characterized this action as "obstruction of justice. Rather than let an examination of the evidence find out whether these ballots were legitimate or not, the heavy hand of federal police not only intervened, they destroyed the evidence by having it immediately and irretrievably shredded." FBI Director Christopher Wray rebuffed the obstruction charge, insisting that "when the FBI does it it's not obstruction. Our agency is not solely dedicated to the pursuit of justice. We also...
  • Dems Call for Biden to Give Up Nuclear Launch Authority [semi-satire]

    02/27/2021 12:53:30 AM PST · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 Feb 2021 | John Semmens
    A group of Democrats in the House have called for President Joe Biden to give up his sole authority to authorize the launch of nuclear weapons. Rep. Jimmy Panetta (D-Calif) said "vesting one person with this authority entails real risks, especially when that person is manifestly cognitively impaired. We need to establish a process that involves a broader spectrum of participants who could discuss the matter before launching." Panetta acknowledged the possible urgency issue of having only minutes to respond to an incoming nuclear missile attack, but maintained that "delay in mounting a counterattack is preferable to entrusting a mental...