The DNC competitors didn’t stand a chance against the lethal perky injections of former presidential campaigner Dr. Howard Dean. I liken the skills of Dr. Dean to be closely paralleled to the wily acts performed by the most popular girl in your hometown high school who won (by any means possible) the head cheerleading position for your schools cheer squad. Just like that driven spirited popular girl who always won “perkiest personality,” Dr. Dean’s abilities are louder, falser, perkier and the best at creating a bogus emotional frenzy of cataclysmic ecstasy. Dr. Dean was the only choice the DNC could...