SAN FRANCISCO, CA—In the first step toward a world blossoming with freedom of speech, Elon Musk, the proud new owner of Twitter, ordered the company’s tech team to make all tweets by Bill Gates autocorrect to say “Poopy butt.” “Poopy butt poopy butt, poopy poopy butt butt,” read a subsequent tweet by Bill Gates. “Odd, I could have sworn I typed out a hopeful message on the benefits of global, forced, clandestine sterilization of women,” said a confused Gates, staring at his Windows Phone® while his tailor fitted him for a custom brassiere. “Why does it say, ‘Butt, butt,...