Free Republic

No one can lay a glove on him!

I suggest we stop posting vanities and start posting Barrys. It's Friday, what the heck.

Acknowledging the historic role of Nobel Peace Prize-winning President Barack Obama, the Senate and House today voted to rename the city of Washington, DC Obama, District of Barack. "I'm pleased to accomplish this," said Speaker Nancy Pelosi. "I'm thrilled," stated Chris Matthews. "It's about time!" noted Eleanor Holmes-Norton. Praise also came from overseas. It was reported that the Canadian Government was considering renaming Toronto Toronobama. And Poland was considering re-naming itself Pobamaland. Indonesia, it was reported, was set to vote on renaming itself Indobamanesia. Further details as they are available.

At a word from President Barack M.Fing Obama, slain U.S. President John F. Kennedy emerged alive at dawn today from his tomb at Arlington National Cemetery. The assassinated former President, who appeared alongside the Dear Leader at a press conference in Washington, D.C. late this morning, quipped that he was "rested and ready, but not necessarily tanned" after nearly 46 years in the grave. The Dear Leader modestly declined to comment on Kennedy's miraculous resurrection. However, he did announce that the former president's younger brother, Sen. Robert F. Kennedy (D-MA), had also been resurrected by his command after more than...

World Potentate Nicolai Carpathia congratualted Barack Obama's historic Peace Prize win today in a statement. "He's a man after my own heart, just like me. Now, if he can get the Muslim Nations to attack Isreal, the prophesy can be fullfilled! May he succeed, where I failed"

stop this nonsense!

Executives at Megalomaniac (MGM) Studios announced today that President Barack Hussein Obama will be cast in the role of "Rick Blaine" first played by Humphrey Bogart in the original 1941 film. An studio source speaking under conditions of anonymity advised that Obama was a natural for the part having, "way more cool points than Bogart." Moreover, Obama has already established his ability to read a script, and will fit in well with the largely muslim populace when shooting begins on location in Morocco later this year. The studio source admitted that initially there were some concerns that Obama's presidential duties...

Sounds crazy but check back issues you have lying around! The covers have changed!

Ah what the hell..... OBAMA SOLVES FORMAT'S LAST THEOREM WITH AN ABACUS AND A SACK OF NICKELS!!!

MONTE CARLO (xline) American First Lady Michelle Obama was crowned the Miss Universe last night, defeating odds on favorites Miss Venezuela and Colombia. The contest was close, at first, with Michelle's fortunes waning in the swimsuit competition. But she surged ahead in the talent competition with her presentation of clothes she designed for herself. Michelle capped it off in the final speech category, with her answer to the question, "What do you not like about your country?" Her answer brought tears to the judges' eyes, "Everything has been absolved and forgiven by act of America's contrite election of Barack Obama...

Ten years from now, we will all look back at this day as one of the most hysterical moments in FReeper history.

ARAB Alabama, MKJ Press (9 Oct 09) - In what has been described as an astounding about face, the national leadership of the Ku Klux Klan announced here this afternoon that it was abandoning it's past divisive racial views and embracing 'The New Age of Obama', and to demonstrate their sincerity, Awarded President Barack Hussein Obama the very first 'National Ku Klux Klan Honorary White Man' Award, saying "Hey, President Obama is at least half white and that makes him ok with us good ol' boys, he invited a cop and some pointy-headed professor-type to have a beer at the...

...Discovers Ark of the Covenant Inside! Hailed As Hero By Archeologists!

Had to get in on the craziness.

President Obama signed the Declaration of Independence today, making it official; the colonies are no longer part of England. After signing his name in big purple crayon just above John Hancock's, the President was quoted as saying: "Since 1776 America wasn't officially America, until I signed this document today. Now that my signature has made America officially a nation, I can now implement my policies designed to destroy it. It would have been tough to destroy a country that didn't officially exist until today." October 9 will now replace July 4 as the official birthday for America. When asked what...

A group of renowned world leaders have discovered that the previously known "Bridge To Nowhere" actually leads directly to Obama! This shocking discovery was made by a collective of physicists, governmental analysts and folks standing in line outside of Cobo Hall in Detroit waiting for their stimulus money from Obama's "stash"! Researchers had previously denied that the bridge went anywhere, but since the Nobel Committee announcement, Obama is the center of the entire universe, it became obvious to all that this bridge MUST in fact lead to Obama. Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, when reached on the satellite phone in...

Had to join in.

Faster than the computer cloud

Some are skeptical - he just signed up for Sears credit card last week!

Mayors were going to award the keys to all cities after they heard that President Obama said he was going to deal with youth violence by appointing himself youth Czar and personal hand out stimulus money on every crime ridden street corner in the country. Major city mayors were over come with joy at this news and were personally looking for corners to help bring about fairness and equality to crime ridden areas. Obama said this will end crime as we know it!