WOODSTOCK, ME — Political commentator Tucker Carlson sparked controversy this week when he welcomed Bigfoot onto his show to discuss how mind-controlling chemtrails are sprayed over the flat earth by the Jews. Viewers were shocked to learn that not only was Bigfoot real, but that the popular cryptid had been following conspiracy news for decades. Carlson nodded along with his guest, genuinely interested in what it had to say about Ben Shapiro. Bigfoot, who spoke with a series of unintelligible growls and whistles, was adamant that the Jews were behind the chemtrails and that it was all part of...