Free Republic

Rooty the Great Root Bear, the mascot of A&W Restaurants for 60 years, will hence forth be wearing denim jeans. In a Twitter post, the company suggested that Rooty’s lack of pants was “polarizing.” “America, let’s talk. Since 1963, Rooty the Great Root Bear has been our beloved spokesbear. We knew people would notice because he’s literally a 6-foot tall bear wearing an orange sweater,” the company said. “But now we get it – even a mascot’s lack of pants can be polarizing.” Moving forward, Rooty will wear be wearing jeans. The company said Rooty will still remain the company’s...

U.S. — Male M&M's everywhere rejoiced after the announcement by Mars, Inc. that the female M&M's are getting their own bag. The male M&M's hope this change will finally give them some much sought-after peace and quiet. According to sources, the red, yellow, blue, and orange M&M's are hoping this means they can finally get a little rest and relaxation, lounge around all day, and just hang out with the bros without being nagged to death. "Yeah! Um, 'Empowered Women Empower Women' or whatever it is, right guys?!" said the Red M&M. "It's more important than ever to support women...