Free Republic

SCOTLAND — According to reports, the homeland of William Wallace has shifted away from charging into certain death in the name of freedom to just letting their teenage daughters handle the violent rape gangs. "I let my daughter have a knife, she can probably handle a gang of Muslim men," said local man Ewan Grant. "I would help, but my couch is really very comfortable. Plus, dealing with gangs who want to rape our daughters sounds like a lot of work." Instead of facing mortal danger in the name of freedom like their ancestors, today's Scottish have opted to give...

SCOTLAND — As part of a sweeping effort to put a stop to Muslim migrant rape gangs terrorizing the country, UK authorities have begun rounding up and arresting all potential rape victims. Experts say this will effectively put an end to migrant rape crimes in England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. "We have heard the voice of the people, and we have resolved to solve this problem once and for all," said Prime Minister Keir Starmer. "We will begin by arresting all women under 52 years old, and then we will hide them in highly secure prison cells in...