Kim Jong-il, the Korean madman, announced today that, in an effort at reconciliation with the United States, he has renamed himself Kim Jong-clinton. In a decree, Kim Jong-clinton also declared that all first born males herafter shall carry the name Kim Jong-bill, in honor of the 42nd president of the United States. Kim Jong-clinton said, "I have taken this bold step on behalf of the people of Korea in an effort to build a bridge to the American people over the warmonger George Bush and his right-hand man Dick Cheney and his evil hatchet man Donald Rumsfeld." Expressing his faith...