Posted on 01/02/2003 1:36:13 PM PST by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin
Kim Jong-il, the Korean madman, announced today that, in an effort at reconciliation with the United States, he has renamed himself Kim Jong-clinton.
In a decree, Kim Jong-clinton also declared that all first born males herafter shall carry the name Kim Jong-bill, in honor of the 42nd president of the United States. Kim Jong-clinton said, "I have taken this bold step on behalf of the people of Korea in an effort to build a bridge to the American people over the warmonger George Bush and his right-hand man Dick Cheney and his evil hatchet man Donald Rumsfeld."
Expressing his faith in the American people, Kim Jong-clinton said, "President Clinton showed, in his historic 1994 agreement with the Korean people, that mutual co-existence between Korea and the American people can be real." Kim noted that in the agreement with Clinton, the U.S. not only sent billions of dollars in aid to his regime in the form of oil, but also kept his regime alive when other Stalinist regimes collapsed. Kim noted the billions in oil Clinton sent to North Korea freed up other resources so he could build nuclear weapons of mass destruction.
"At the same time, President Clinton showed the world the meaning of peace. As the revolutionary guard of the People's Republic of Korea has prepared weapons of war to use on America and to turn the occupied Korea into a sea of fire. President Clinton greatly reduced America's armed forces in every area: in the sea, in the air and on land. For this, the Korean people are grateful." Kim also said that all first born girls born in Korea from this date forward shall be named Kim Jong-hillary.
Kim praised Hillary Clinton for her recent demand that the Bush administration engage in negotiations. "It is through negotiations that Korea has become a great nuclear power. We want America to continue to negotiate, as Bill Clinton did, as Hillary knows is best. The record shows we are for peace, that Bill Clinton was for peace, and that George Bush is for war," Kim said to wild applause at the annual meeting of Korea's CCCP. President Clinton was unavailable for comment. His office said he was attending a Kwanzaa celebration today.
Several aides to the former president did speak off the record and clearly blamed the Korean crisis on President Bush and his national security team. "Since Bill Clinton left the Oval Office, any major problem is to be blamed on the sitting president. Too bad and tough luck!" one Clinton aide said with a chuckle.
ROTFLMBO
Well where else to expect the first black former president to be? In confessional!
This is a hoot!
LoL! I heard he was first considering these:
Kim Jong-Streisand
Kim Jong-Algore
Kim Jong-Carville
Kim Jong-Kennedy-Towsend
I like that one!
What a couple these two make. What's with that belt she has on? Are those some kind of lucky charms? And the flag in her lapel? She has bigger hands than he does too. However, his UPS uniform is very in.
LOL! That flag pin would fit better on Paul Bunyon's flannel shirt.
The UPS brown color really highlights the pinkish hue in his cheeks.
They both kind of look alike. They are standing exactly with the same posture.
No offense to little people out there like Micky Abbott :)
He also very displeased! This worse than improper cook dog.
Cagey you MUST be P.C.; he is vertically challenged.
Kim Jong still not amuse, get on train and go for concubine now.
Change from UPS uniform on train.
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