Free Republic

I would love a COVID-19 vaccine passport. After more than a year in full or partial quarantine, I’m so happy to be vaccinated I want to get the words “FULLY” and “VAXXED” tattooed on my butt and run naked through the streets. (Don’t worry, I won’t. America has suffered enough.) Unfortunately … sorry, that’s a side effect of the Pfizer vaccine … unfortunately, vaccine pride is not as prevalent as it should be, and a sizable swath of the population prefers to poo-poo the one thing that can lead us out of a pandemic that has killed more than 550,000...

I don’t think I have the skills to easily assimilate into Donald Trump’s America. And that can mean only one thing: I should be deported. It was a difficult conclusion to reach, but after listening to White House Chief of Staff John Kelly’s recent comments on undocumented immigrants, I see no other path forward. Maybe I should self-deport. That’s part of the hope, of course, that by making America inhospitable to outsiders, some will just leave. But I’m not going to do that. You know us unassimilated legal residents. We’re notoriously lazy. No, the government is going to have to...

I am sorry to have to do this, but as a representative of the mainstream media, I hereby declare war on GOP presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz. In the media's defense, Cruz started it. Literally. -- snip -- Strap on your boots, Teddy boy. We're comin' for ya now. And we've got the weapon you fear the most: the truth.