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If a basketball player gets an athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get? Missile toe!

I asked an employee if they had Trump’s new book on how to deport illegal immigrants? She immediately told me “get the **** out of here and don’t come back”. I said “YES that’s the one!”

Image of Old Groaner's skull from the front. The bear's left eye arch is intact. Thanks to Hayley Chambers of the Ketchikan Museums for pictures of Old Groaner's skull.In the first three segments of this series, the formation of the myth of Old Groaner was discussed.In segment I, the original article, published in February of 1936, almost certainly written less than two months after Old Groaner was killed, is detailed. Old Groaner was killed in November of 1935. It takes time to put a paper magazine together and to print it, especially in 1936.In segment II, the 1953 re-write and...

The original illustration by F.W Gabler was changed for the 1953 and 1986 re-writes of the article.This is the part III in a series of four segments on the Old Groaner legend.In segment I, the original article, published in the February 1936 issue of Alaska Sportsman is examined.In segment II, the 1953 re-write and some of the major changes in the rewrite are examined.We may never know why the many changes were made to the Old Groaner story when it was re-written by W.H. "Handlogger" Jackson and published in the March issue of the 1953 Alaskan Sportsman as "The Moaning...

Picture of Old Groaner skull, left side, from Tongass Historical Society. The left eye arch is intact. Picture courtesy Hayley Chambers.In the previous article, the story of Old Groaner, as told in 1936, was recounted. The bear was killed as it attacked the dog Slasher and Bruce Johnstone in the middle reaches of the Unuk river, in November of 1935. This correspondent differentiated speculation from claimed fact. The bear's head was brought back to Ketchikan. If the skull had been complete, it would have been a world record. The original article was written by F. W. Gabler.In the image above,...

Part I. The events which started the storyIn early November 1935, at the upper reaches of the Unuk river in Southeastern Alaska, prospector, trapper, and logger, Bruce Johnstone, shot a near-world record grizzly bear in self-defense. The bear had been shot in the head previously but had survived and healed, leaving the skull deformed and the bear blind on the right side.The skull was brought back to Ketchikan. The story was published in the February 1936 issue of the struggling Alaska Sportsman, written by F. W. Gabler. Gabler interviewed the shooter, Bruce Johnstone. Both Johnstone and Gabler were longtime residents...

God said, "Go down into that valley." And Adam said, "What's a valley?" and God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river" And Adam said "What's a river?" and God explained it to him. And then God said, "Go over the hill." And Adam said, "What's a hill?" and God explained it to him. Then God told Adam, "On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave," and Adam said, "what's a cave?" and God explained that to him. "In the cave you will find a woman." And Adam said, What's a woman?" So...