Outdated rock ‘n roll singer Meatloaf exploded Tuesday after learning he could get better gas mileage by losing weight. “You’re kidding me?” he said when learning of a University of Illinois study that concluded America will be out of fuel by the end of 2020 if fat people don’t exercise, lose weight, and become generally miserable because they’re no longer fat and content. [Full disclosure: Your stupid narrator is fat and content.] “Hell, if I had known I could burn more fossil fuels by eating another hamburger a day, I would have done it earlier. But it’s never too late...