DEEP VEEP DEUX
(Marvin Nicholson Notwithstanding, John Kerry Doesn't Need a Nanny . He needs an heiress.)
- by Mia T, 5.2..04
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No farther than a heartbeat away from the presidency, a vice president must be the indispensable confidant of the president, the uncomplaining amanuensis (you could look that up) of his every wish.
Agreed? Of course. What reasonable objection could possibly be raised to those requisites?
An End to Speculation
Then there is but one person on the whole planet who is sufficiently politically correct (what counts these days) to meet the test.
His name -- don't everyone rush at once to shout the obvious answer -- is none other than -- let's hear it now for -- Marvin Nicholson!.
Whadda you mean who the hell is Marvin Nicholson? What are you, some kinda political ignoramus? Have you been living in a cave or on the wrong side of the Hudson River? Don't you read all you need to read, namely the New York Times? Get a life!
You Name It
As everyone-who-is-anyone knows, Marvin Nicholson is John Kerry's hand-picked, personal butler, valet, liegeman, retainer, menial, squire, footboy, lackey, flunky, equerry, groom, wallah, swineherd, chamberlain, subaltern, vassal -- the list goes on and on, filling a whole half a page in the thesaurus.
Yes, Marvin Nicholson is the dear senator's designated dogs-body, his eager ankle-biter, his private step'n fetchit who dials his telephone for him, pops open his bumbershoot at the first drop of rain (that coif mustn't be mussed), picks out (may even tie) his expensive neckwear, schleps his fashionable luggage, selects his tedious menu, snowboards protectively alongside him,
Bored Certified
NEW virtual john kerry can bore + snowboard at the same time series
(viewing movie requires Flash Player 6, available HERE)
johnkerryisdangerousforamerica.blogspot.comwakes him up in the morning and (no foolin') tucks him in at night.
To hear the New York Times tell it -- now would the New York Times make up anything? -- "Kerry would be helpless without his trusty manservant, Marvin Nicholson."
... No Want Unattended
An April 28 article in the newspaper that prints all the news that fits its agenda (which makes one wonder how this one got past the 43nd Street editorial trolls), Kerry's butler has on him at all times, or within instant reach, such absolute necessities of stressful political life as:
Loose change, Tylenol, Advil, Advil Liquid Gels, Advil Sinus pills, Swedish hand cream, Halls cough drops, Scope mouthwash, a tube of Blistex, Band-Aids, a sewing kit, little zip-lock plastic baggies containing made-fresh-daily peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches wrapped in aluminum foil of course, cans of strawberry diet milkshake, Imodium and Handiwipes.
Wipes? That raises the question -- not answered here, you can bet your bippy -- of just what it is the pampered senator can or can't or won't do for himself, unassisted, on his very own, now that he's over age 3.
Never Leave Home Without One
This little boy who never grew up doesn't need a butler. He doesn't need a vice president.
What John Kerry needs is a nanny.
And Hillary Clinton thinks she may want to be his vice-presidential running mate? Say what else you will about Hill, a nanny she's not.
Right, Bill?
A Gentleman's VP
John L. Perry
Monday, May 3, 2004
hillary talks: DEEP VEEP
(viewing movie requires Flash Player 6, available HERE)
missus clinton's REAL virtual office update
http://hillarytalks.blogspot.com
http://virtualclintonlibrary.blogspot.com
http://demmemogate.blogspot.com
http://www.hillarytalks.us
http://www.hillarytalks.org
fiendsofhillary.blogspot.com
fiendsofhillary.us
fiendsofhillary.org
fraudsofhillary.com
- by Mia T, 3.7.04
Uber Democrat Sen. Hillary Clinton is warning all-but-certain presidential nominee John Kerry to back off if he's thinking about replacing party chairman Terry McAuliffe before the election.
Asked about rumblings that the Kerry camp wanted to toss McAuliffe over the side, Clinton told the New York Times on Friday, "Terry has helped the Democratic Party move into the 21st century to compete against the incredible interlocking institutional powers of the other side."
"A lot of plans have been laid, a lot of infrastructure put in place, and I want to see us follow through," she insisted.
Hillary Warns Kerry: Hands off McAuliffe
issus clinton says she doesn't think she will be asked to be John Kerry's running mate.... and doesn't think she would accept, in any case. "Think" seems to be the operative word.... (or is it "doesn't think?")Susan Estrich had it exactly right when she said missus clinton is unelectable. If hillary clinton wants to occupy the Oval Office, she must perforce either marry the president (been there, done that) or ascend to the throne; that is to say, missus clinton must zipper-hoist.... (We will leave means of ascension to your imagination and her devices. Suffice it to say, John Kerry would be wise to sharpen the ol' peripheral vision.)
For her entire adult (such as it is) life, zipper-hoisting has been missus clinton's principal means of upward mobility.
Zipper-hoisting has proved to be a sticky wicket for missus clinton, owing not to antithetical feminist ideology, as one would expect -- feminists willingly sacrificed feminism on the altar of clintonism -- but to zipper choice, her rather injudicious attachment early on to a certain zipper habitually on the downslide.
Look for missus clinton to switch zippers. And sooner rather than later. (Note: Kerry's zipper is the current default choice; missus clinton would have much preferred the General's.)
What zippers are to missus clinton, heiresses are to John Kerry. As comptroller of the Democrat coffers, missus clinton is the de facto Democrat "heiress," (Teresa Heinz without the ketchup, if you will).
Thus, what we have here is the perfect symbiosis, the perfect playing into proclivities, the lowest common denominator, the perfect pair....
copyright Mia T 2004
