9 Things Men Are Better At Than Women

The Bee ^ | Jul 21, 2026 | The Bee

[dayglored]

Women may be the fairer sex, but are they the better sex? Research is conclusive that men are better at quite a few things than women.

Here are just a few examples:

1. Being created: That's right, men were created first. Get wrecked, ladies.

2. Fatherhood: Women are terrible dads.

3. Growing a handlebar mustache and twirling it mischievously: Have you seen the women with mustaches? Not very impressive.

4. Clogging toilets: Also, unclogging toilets.

5. Thinking about Ancient Rome: Research suggests women never think about Ancient Rome, which is literally insane.

6. Being President of the United States: Try harder, women.

7. Moving furniture: Wherever the women say they want it, of course.

8. Getting "that thing" off a high shelf: Who always gets asked to do it? That's right.

9. Common sense and logic: It's science.

And that settles it. What other things are men better at than women?

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TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; men; satire; women

[Bigg Red]

Psst....This is a humor post.

[Bigg Red]

1 Possessing a sense of direction.

Back before GPS and cell phones, getting lost was one of my hobbies, apparently.

So I would find a pay phone and call the husband. He would ask me about 3 questions and then get me headed in the right direction. He is a wizard, I think.

2 Coming together as team to solve a problem without letting interpersonal drama get in the way.

[Red Badger]

11. Writing their names in the snow...............

[catnipman]

they missed the really biggie: OPENING JARS!

[grame]

My response would be that they each are created differently for many reasons. It’s not a competition.

[TangoLimaSierra]

Men are better at letting things slide.

[NorthMountain]

Men who hate women don’t hate women NEARLY as much as women who hate women hate women.

And men are much better at minimizing the use of commas.

[NorthMountain]

Men compete ... then shake hands and go chug beer together. And compete as to who can chug more beer. A competition which often ends badly ...

Women compete ... and then go away seething with anger which they inflict on everyone they meet.

[kawhill]

“9 Things Men Are Better At Than Women”. Being a man?

[libstripper]

Most of the time, but there was a tragic relationship about two years ago where a young man and a beautiful young woman went for what was going to be a long trip out West in her vehicle. Somehow or other the relationship became toxic with each one jabbing the most delicate buttons of the other, resulting in him becoming so infuriated that he strangled her. Then, like Othello, he was plunged into terrible guilt and committed suicide. The point of the story is that if two people are in a toxic relationship one of them must leave lest it possibly result in violence.

[Midwesterner53]

Taking the lead at that special moment. Convincing her she is in the mood also.

[A_perfect_lady]

Back off, buddy. I think about Ancient Rome on a daily basis.

[Billthedrill]

Urinating from a helicopter door in flight. Also, men are much better at shooting bottle rockets from our butt cracks.

[NorthMountain]

Urinating from a helicopter door in flight.

Do you speak from experience?

[Bullish]

Men are much better at parking cars and getting quickly out of them after they do. Women take forever.

And you all know it.

[logi_cal869]

#10:

Mustache rides.

/s

[KevinB]

Having sex with pants on.

[GingisK]

...but when it comes to mice...

Use a .22LR Ruger Mark IV pistol; but watch out for collateral damage. Those suckers are fast when under fire.

[BatGuano]

#3. name in snow?
If she is holding the male “stylus” correctly, any she can do it....with practice.
“jus thinkin naughty thoughts..”.

[GingisK]

I think about Ancient Rome on a daily basis.

Gladiators?