17 Signs Of Poverty In A Capitalist Country

The Bee ^ | Dec 9, 2024 | The Bee

[dayglored]

If you've ever lived in a capitalist country, you'll know exactly how difficult it can sometimes be to keep your nose above the poverty line.

We at the Babylon Bee have conducted extensive research and discovered 17 red flags of poverty that often show up in capitalist countries. Take a look.

1. You can only afford the standard iPhone and not the Pro Max: How do people even live under these conditions?

2. Your vacation cabin is single-story: And it doesn't even have wifi.

3. You're forced to buy generic Dijon mustard instead of Grey Poupon: Now every time someone asks you to lower the window on your Rolls Royce to ask if you have any Grey Poupon you have to sadly say, "No, all I have is French's," and everyone will laugh at you.

4. You have to watch Netflix with ad breaks: We thought this was America.

5. You had to downgrade your Disneyland annual pass to the lowest tier: Now you can't go on weekends and holidays, significantly reducing your quality of life.

6. You can only afford the $7000 nosebleed seats for a Taylor Swift concert: Capitalist bourgeoisie oppression.

7. You have to turn off ray-tracing on Cyberpunk 2077 because you can't afford the new GeForce graphics card: The graphics aren't as realistic now, because you're poor.

8. You can't afford to go out to eat more than three times a week: This is what food insecurity looks like.

9. When you do go out to eat, you still have to order from the value menu: $18 dollars for a combo meal is just too much for you.

10. You can only afford a "Gold Star" Costco membership: Plebians of the world, unite.

11. You can only afford a 2,500-square-foot house: You might as well be homeless.

12. You can only afford to buy a Porsche on Black Friday: Pathetic.

13. You can't afford anything larger than a 55-inch TV: How could we allow such cruelty?

14. Your gardener only mows and edges: He doesn't even bother to sculpt your topiary.

15. You couldn't get the Full Self-Driving add-on for your new Cybertruck: Driving your car manually is for peasantry.

16. You can't afford to get extra whipped cream on your morning latte: No one should have to live like this.

17. You can no longer afford the credits to offset your carbon emissions: The guilt is real.

Well, there you have it. If any of these are true of you, congratulations: you're poor in a capitalist country.

[dayglored]

We've all been there.

[dfwgator]

Low Budget - The Kinks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwJBtDOat_k

[Governor Dinwiddie]

America is the only country where the impoverished die of obesity while watching their 65 inch UHD flat screen TV.

[ProtectOurFreedom]

I don’t know how we survive!

[xp38]

Actually I’ve never been to a Taylor Swift concert so no not all of us. I do have a niece who has though. More than once so I’m getting a bit concerned.

[gnarledmaw]

Hell, Im so poor my gardeners eat the lawn and hedges.

[Pontiac]

I haven’t been to a concert since Amy Grant sang christian music.

[xp38]

be thankful they leave your pets alone

[dfwgator]

Or since MTV played music videos.

[Pontiac]

Well, can you blame them?

Porn is much more profitable.

[mrmeyer]

Happens to the best of us

[hole_n_one]

Or since MTV played music videos.

The good ol’ days…

Take On Me (2 billion views).

[SpaceBar]

All joking aside, the Bee missed the fact that our nation is $36 trillion in debt.

The piper will eventually demand payment.

[dayglored]

> All joking aside, the Bee missed the fact that our nation is $36 trillion in debt. The piper will eventually demand payment.

Gotta get them money-printing presses rolling!!

[Tacrolimus1mg]

Scandanavian countries are more capitalist than we are. We’re nowhere near it anymore; growing closer to fascist at this point.l, especially in banking and Silicon Valley.

[MikeSteelBe]

"Hell, Im so poor my gardeners eat the lawn and hedges."

I'm so broke my farts don't have a scent!

[BipolarBob]

This makes me want to retract all of my Thanksgiving thankfulness I orated at the In-Laws and rail against The System. I just don’t wallow in self pity enough is my problem. I accidentally felt a tinge of joy the other day over watching the birds feeding at my bird station. I must shoo these parasites to society away and tear down the structure. I’m still drinking coffee brewed in a Keurig instead of my muchly desired DeLonghi PrimaDonna Elite Espresso Machine. I don’t know how much more I can take.

[dayglored]

> Actually I’ve never been to a Taylor Swift concert so no not all of us. I do have a niece who has though. More than once so I’m getting a bit concerned.

Never been to a TS concert either, and have no desire to.

That said, a little over a decade ago I was moderately impressed by Swift's talent and business acumen. Can't stand her songs for the most part, but as a musician I have to respect her determination and success.

However, the concert juggernaut has completely overtaken her and her music. She's now just a multi-billion-dollar money machine. It's a shame. Even more of a shame that she went political. Never a good look.

She turns 35 in a few days. 35!! She better start thinking about whether she wants kids or cats....

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

I’m still drinking coffee brewed in a Keurig instead of my muchly desired DeLonghi PrimaDonna Elite Espresso Machine. I don’t know how much more I can take.

:looks at her cup of java brewed in a Moka pot that she bought for a quarter from a church sale two decades ago:

Sneer.

You probably drink the flavored stuff with sugar and creamer.

[T.B. Yoits]