Nation's Gays Say They'll Pass On New Jaguar And Just Stick With Their Mustang Convertibles

The Bee ^ | Dec 2, 2024 | The Bee

[dayglored]

U.S. — After the grotesque pink design of the new Jaguar was leaked to the public, the nation's gays have confirmed they are not really interested in the new car and will just stick with their very gay Mustang convertibles.

"We appreciate Jaguar trying to market to us by being extremely flamboyantly gay, but we already have the gayest car known to man, and it will never be topped: the Ford Mustang," said Chandler Borgins of Los Angeles, California. "We'll just stick with these, thanks."

Experts say the Mustang, which has long been a gay icon, has been purchased almost exclusively by gays for decades. "Ford really caught lightning in a bottle with this iconic sports car," said car enthusiast Jay Leno to reporters. "There has never been a gayer set of wheels to ever grace the roads of the United States."

Leno's statement was tragically cut short as he fell down some stairs, through a glass window, and into some wet cement.

Jaguar preorder figures reflect the poor reception to their rebranding and redesign, with only one preorder going to a blind Mary Kay saleswoman.

At publishing time, the nation's closeted gays had confirmed they'll be sticking with their Ford F-150s.

[Larry Lucido]

I almost bought a Mustang 1986. Got a Thunderbird instead.

[Manic_Episode]

Guy in the photo looks suspiciously like he worked undercover at the capital January 6th.

[BigFreakinToad]

Gayest ride on the market is the Rivain....not that there is anything wrong with that....

[Dr. Sivana]

I thought Subaru was the car for gays. No, wait, Subaru is for lesbians

That's right. Subarus for Lesbians. Mazda Miatas for male homosexuals.

[heavy metal]

those are popular with old ladies...

[Vaduz]

Maybe he’s on new assignment note plate.

[OldMissileer]

I recently bought a Forester and had to get a lesbian couple to co-sign for the vehicle.

That there is funny. I don't care who you are!

[dayglored]

> The Bee forgot to add "Lightnings" to gays liking F-150 Lightnings".

Ended up parked next to a Lightning a few nights ago at the grocery store; first time I've seen one up close.

Well let me tell you sir, my last F-150 was a 1995 with a V8 that I used for plowing snow in the woods; it was pretty beat up but it was a beast and with the chains on it could climb trees. Let's just say that the contrast to the Lightning was more than striking. More like horrifying.

[SaveFerris]

(”We appreciate Jaguar trying to market to us by being extremely flamboyantly gay”)

Boy ain’t THAT the truth

[SaveFerris]

LOL 😅😆🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[posterchild]

WWLD?
What Would Liberace Drive?

[rlmorel]

I like MGuy’s stuff!

[Darksheare]

Jaguar, so gay that not even gays want it.

[DesertRhino]

Written by a bowtie guy.

Sometimes the Bee misses the mark.

[V_TWIN]

I thought they were big on the Subaru Forresters?......the lesbians anyway.

[nwrep]

Very gay.

[nwrep]

Pink Rolls Royce.

[V_TWIN]

Being gay is one thing....being a trans freak is a whole nother level of mental illness and perversion all together.

[Tell It Right]

Agreed.

My wife and I own an EV car. It well suits most of our needs (26K miles per year, 16K of those are home charged miles, so the gas savings and oil change savings are real).

But there are lots times we need our gas pickup for the kind of chores EV trucks are a long way from being able to do.

[cableguymn]

me to, I hope he can find something else if the EVs all die off (again)