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Nation's Gays Say They'll Pass On New Jaguar And Just Stick With Their Mustang Convertibles
The Bee ^
| Dec 2, 2024
| The Bee
Posted on 12/03/2024 12:21:33 PM PST by dayglored
U.S. — After the grotesque pink design of the new Jaguar was leaked to the public, the nation's gays have confirmed they are not really interested in the new car and will just stick with their very gay Mustang convertibles.
"We appreciate Jaguar trying to market to us by being extremely flamboyantly gay, but we already have the gayest car known to man, and it will never be topped: the Ford Mustang," said Chandler Borgins of Los Angeles, California. "We'll just stick with these, thanks."
Experts say the Mustang, which has long been a gay icon, has been purchased almost exclusively by gays for decades. "Ford really caught lightning in a bottle with this iconic sports car," said car enthusiast Jay Leno to reporters. "There has never been a gayer set of wheels to ever grace the roads of the United States."
Leno's statement was tragically cut short as he fell down some stairs, through a glass window, and into some wet cement.
Jaguar preorder figures reflect the poor reception to their rebranding and redesign, with only one preorder going to a blind Mary Kay saleswoman.
At publishing time, the nation's closeted gays had confirmed they'll be sticking with their Ford F-150s.
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; driverreturnsonfoot; f150; fixorrepairdaily; ford; foundonroaddead; gay; jaguar; mustang; sacramentobee; satire; whichbee
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Now wait a cotton-pickin' minute, I had a bunch of F-150s and I'm totally not gay. Of course, they were all 1995 or earlier....
1
posted on
12/03/2024 12:21:33 PM PST
by
dayglored
2
posted on
12/03/2024 12:23:30 PM PST
by
Olog-hai
("No Republican, no matter how liberal, is going to woo a Democratic vote." -- Ronald Reagan, 1960)
To: dayglored
Yes, you can get ate in the front seat.
To: Olog-hai
I thought Subaru was the car for gays. No, wait, Subaru is for lesbians.... Gotta keep my genders straight. So to speak...
4
posted on
12/03/2024 12:25:18 PM PST
by
dayglored
(This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
To: dayglored
Aw, man, I gotta sell my Subaru? Dang it.
To: Olog-hai
Prius fans… who are probably gay…
6
posted on
12/03/2024 12:26:07 PM PST
by
Skywise
To: dayglored
Wait a minute! I drive a Mustang Convertible!....................
7
posted on
12/03/2024 12:29:12 PM PST
by
Red Badger
(Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegals are put up in 5 Star hotels....................)
To: dayglored
I heard from mguy that this thing has stone in it.
Stone?
Also unfinished brass that will “age” and different scent pills you can place in a special compartment.
What the hell is it? A kitchen on wheels?
8
posted on
12/03/2024 12:29:27 PM PST
by
cableguymn
(They don't want peace they want skeletons )
To: dayglored
1992-1996 areo nose fords are the best.
9
posted on
12/03/2024 12:30:13 PM PST
by
cableguymn
(They don't want peace they want skeletons )
To: ImJustAnotherOkie
“Yes, you can get ate in the front seat.”
There are two ways to read that you dirty dog. Well done.
To: dayglored
but we already have the gayest car known to man, and it will never be topped: the Ford MustangSure it's not a Mazda Miata?
11
posted on
12/03/2024 12:31:00 PM PST
by
1Old Pro
To: dayglored
Now wait a cotton-pickin' minute, I had a bunch of F-150s and I'm totally not gay. Agreed. The Bee forgot to add "Lightnings" to gays liking F-150 Lightnings". LOL
12
posted on
12/03/2024 12:31:33 PM PST
by
Tell It Right
(1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
To: Red Badger
Wait a minute! I drive a Mustang Convertible!.................... At least Trump his made it cool again to blare YMCA from your radio.
13
posted on
12/03/2024 12:34:58 PM PST
by
Tell It Right
(1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
To: dayglored
I recently bought a Forester and had to get a lesbian couple to co-sign for the vehicle.
14
posted on
12/03/2024 12:35:08 PM PST
by
AppyPappy
(If Hitler were alive today and criticized Trump, would he still be Hitler?)
To: dayglored
15
posted on
12/03/2024 12:35:09 PM PST
by
dznutz
To: Red Badger
You can quit lying to yourself. As for me, the only Mustang that I have ever owned was before it went all tangerine pants - a white 64 that looked just like this beauty here.
To: dayglored
well I’m gonna sleep a whole lot better, and may even wake up in a tent knowing what the gays choice in cars are... /s...
smmfh...
17
posted on
12/03/2024 12:40:42 PM PST
by
sit-rep
To: Red Badger
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
18
posted on
12/03/2024 12:41:54 PM PST
by
Larry Lucido
(Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
To: wildcard_redneck
This is what mine looks like.................
19
posted on
12/03/2024 12:41:56 PM PST
by
Red Badger
(Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegals are put up in 5 Star hotels....................)
To: dayglored
Wait... I came here for the Fiero comments... narry a word.
20
posted on
12/03/2024 12:42:38 PM PST
by
Damifino
(The true measure of a man is found in what he would do if he knew no one would ever find out.)
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