Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

New Boeing Features Larger Lavatories So All-Female Crews Can Go To Bathroom Together
Babylon Bee ^ | Jan 12, 2024 | Babylon Bee Staff

Posted on 01/14/2024 11:18:42 AM PST by dayglored

ARLINGTON, VA — In an announcement that comes on the heels of history-making achievements in flight crew diversity, aerospace giant Boeing has revealed its new aircraft features larger lavatories so all-female crews can go to the bathroom together.

Similar to the celebration of aircraft manned by an all-female crew, the announcement of extra-large bathrooms aboard the new airplanes was hailed as an enormous step forward that will allow these female flight crews to continue the time-honored-yet-mysterious tradition of women traveling to the bathroom in groups.

"Our groundbreaking female crew members have spoken, and we have heard them," said Boeing CEO Dave Calhoun. "Never again shall any female member of our flight crews worry about having to go to the lavatory alone. Why do women do that? I have no idea, but they'll now be able to do it on board our new aircraft."

When reached for comment, a female airline pilot expressed excitement over the decision. "We just keep making history every day it seems," said Captain Nancy Green. "You men will never understand why we all go to the bathroom in groups, but the fact that Boeing has made it possible to do it 35,000 feet above the ground is truly an amazing milestone."

At publishing time, the initial flight of the new Boeing model resulted in unexpected controversy due to calls from terrified passengers after the all-female flight crew left the plane unattended mid-flight to all go to the bathroom together.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; bathroom; boeing; diversity; femalecrew; lavatory; satire
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-42 next last
To: bigbob
> guys always follow the alternate-urinal rule.

Many years ago when my band played in the local country bar, I noted that the men's room had a single stall, and a long slanted stainless steel trough that stretched a good 10 feet down the center of the room. Those who only had to pee used the trough; using the stall to pee was unmanly.

Of course, a similar "don't stand right next to another guy" rule was in force, except when the entire trough was occupied.

And staring across the trough at another man's junk was not just bad form, but could get you knocked out.

21 posted on 01/14/2024 12:08:02 PM PST by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: dayglored

You gotta kill the time. The first thing you do is you inscribe your initials on the urinal. Then they run a little bit, then you wet down the entire urinal. “Wet down! Wet down! Wet down entire urinal! Cover all of the dry spots! Gotta get ‘em all! Every one! Gotta look, see if the light is shining.”

Then..Then and only then are you allowed to go after the cigarettes at the bottom of the urinal! Targets of opportunity! Yeah. You had to break up them cigarettes. Field strip ‘em, my friend. Camels and Luckys were easy...but a Kent with a micronite filter. Takes three guys and a keg of beer. “C’mon guys! Hey...c’mon. Let’s go, man”

-George Carlin


22 posted on 01/14/2024 12:11:03 PM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: Bigg Red
> Yes, it is true, but we don’t go into the same stall!

Unless of course one is opting for a quickie, in which case using the handicapped stall affords more elbow(?) room.

23 posted on 01/14/2024 12:11:27 PM PST by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: dfwgator
OMG ROFL!

Thanks for that, I needed a belly laugh. :-)

24 posted on 01/14/2024 12:12:47 PM PST by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: dfwgator
The other thing is hitting flies. A fly in the vicinity of a urinal is gonna get soaked eventually, no doubt about it.

Some men's rooms even paste an adhesive sticker with a picture of a fly, in the urinal slightly off-center. It is absolutely impossible for any man to ignore it and not try to hit it.

You know that's true, too.

25 posted on 01/14/2024 12:15:35 PM PST by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: dayglored

“It’s the Bee !!”

Finally! Way too often it’s real news.


26 posted on 01/14/2024 12:19:23 PM PST by PLMerite ("They say that we were Cold Warriors. Yes, and a bloody good show, too." - Robert Conquest )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dayglored
And staring across the trough at another man's junk was not just bad form, but could get you knocked out.


27 posted on 01/14/2024 12:28:00 PM PST by PROCON (Sic Semper Tyrannis)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: bigbob

I always think of that scene in ALONG CAME POLLY where Alec Baldwin invades Ben Stiller’s space at the urinals.


28 posted on 01/14/2024 12:41:58 PM PST by Orosius (Wake America Up Again )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: dayglored

Eww


29 posted on 01/14/2024 12:59:12 PM PST by Bigg Red (Trump will be sworn in under a shower of confetti made from the tattered remains of the Rat Party.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: dayglored

My husband is a pilot with over 30k flight hours spanning an almost 50 year career that includes not only flying commercial and private but being a flight instructor.

He told me that when they had awards or any kind of ceremony, the women would insist on nameplates that said CAPTAIN so and so and addressed as CAPTAIN so and so while the male pilots just went and had beers and were on a first name basis.

Over a 28 year career as a flight attendant, there were only 4 or 5 female pilots I felt were in the cockpit based on ability. There were some I would refuse to fly with and would bid around them.


30 posted on 01/14/2024 1:01:00 PM PST by Cowgirl of Justice
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dayglored

This is not as good as it sounds. On a flight on Philippine airlines, I got sick from food poisoning and passed out inside the lavatory. Thankfully the place was so small, I did not fall hard and hit my head on anything hard. When I came to, I was sitting on the floor.


31 posted on 01/14/2024 1:25:10 PM PST by Bobbyvotes
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Bobbyvotes

Yes I remember, I had the lasagna.


32 posted on 01/14/2024 1:42:50 PM PST by Clay Moore (My pistol identifies as a cordless hole punch. )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: dayglored

I don’t know any man I’d want to go to the bathroom with. Men don’t smell good and a bathroom only makes this worse.


33 posted on 01/14/2024 1:50:26 PM PST by citizen (Put all LBQTwhatever programming on a new subscription service: PERV-TThose look good)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dayglored

It has been 40 years ago since I’ve been to a blow out concert. I don’t know how it works these days. Letting women into men’s bathrooms wasn’t an issue back then.


34 posted on 01/14/2024 2:09:11 PM PST by EVO X ( )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: Cowgirl of Justice
Nothing new but with the D.I.E. programs in place and fully adopted soon there will not be enough resources to cover for the incompetents.

Also this

35 posted on 01/14/2024 2:35:16 PM PST by jdt1138 (Where ever you go, there you are.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: citizen
> Men don’t smell good and a bathroom only makes this worse.

It's a rare men's restroom that smells neutral; none smell "good". Most are pretty nasty, but tolerable if you have to pee.

But the ones in bars tend to smell like a big-city underground subway station. Drunks who can't aim are a nuisance and a half.

36 posted on 01/14/2024 3:43:05 PM PST by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: DeplorablePaul

A lady says to her friend:
“You know what, Helen, I’ve always wanted to pee off this bridge just like men do”
Her friend says “Yeah, go ahead there’s no one around, so..”
The lady goes over to the railing, drops her shorts, sticks her ass over the rail and says, “Come here, I’m going to pee right down there in that canoe.”
Her friend says, “That’s not a canoe, it’s your reflection.”

-Super Dave Osborne


37 posted on 01/14/2024 3:55:52 PM PST by Kenny Bania (Ovaltine? Why not call it Roundtine?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: dayglored

You are very close.


38 posted on 01/14/2024 4:50:17 PM PST by TheWriterTX (🇺🇸✝️🙏🇮🇱)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: TheWriterTX

Thank you! :-)


39 posted on 01/14/2024 5:04:49 PM PST by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]

To: EVO X
> I don’t know how it [concerts] works these days. Letting women into men’s bathrooms wasn’t an issue back then.

At most big shows the line for the women's room stretches for miles, while the men's room line is either short or nonexistent.

So some brave women do join the men's room line (or just walk in). I've never seen anyone get in trouble for that, the guys show respect and let her have her choice of stall or urinal.

You haven't "seen it all" until you've seen a pretty woman back up to a urinal, drop her panties, lift her skirt to her waist, lean forward, and pee into the urinal without spilling a drop. It's the stuff of legends.

40 posted on 01/14/2024 5:17:21 PM PST by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 34 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-42 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson