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CNN Employees Fired For Being Unvaccinated Wishing They'd Have Just Exposed Themselves On A Zoom Call Instead
The Babylon Bee ^ | August 6, 2021 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 08/09/2021 7:23:52 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

ATLANTA, GA—CNN has fired three employees for not being vaccinated, and now the laid-off workers are wishing they had just exposed themselves on camera instead so they could have kept their jobs.

The three laid-off employees drank away their sorrows at a local bar, expressing their regrets for not getting vaccinated when they could have just Toobined themselves on a Zoom call with coworkers and kept their jobs.

"Man, if I'd only have pulled a Toobin on camera, I would have been fine!" lamented one of the laid-off journalists over a few beers. "I should have just, you know, watched my favorite comedian, Buddy Wackit. Or my favorite Little Rascal, Spanky, or my favorite baseball team, the Yankees. It all seems so clear in hindsight."

"Oh well. Maybe we'll get a job at NBC News and we can lock women in our offices like Matt Lauer instead of refusing the jab."

At publishing time, they'd also realized they could have just covered for their governor brother during a sex scandal as well.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Health/Medicine; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: andrewcuomo; babylonbee; bee; chriscuomo; christineblaseyford; clintonnonnews; cnn; covid19; donlemon; dustinhice; eliotspitzer; firings; fredo; jeffreytoobin; katytur; letitiajames; lissmith; mattlauer; mediaresearchcenter; misconduct; nbc; newyork; petebuttigieg; satire; tishjames; toobin; vaccinations; zoom
Yep.
1 posted on 08/09/2021 7:23:52 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: 100American; al baby; Allegra; BufordP; dp0622; DoodleBob; EveningStar; Gefn; GunsareOK; ...

PING!


2 posted on 08/09/2021 7:25:00 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Florida: America's new free zone.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

These things are always clear in retrospect.


3 posted on 08/09/2021 7:26:46 PM PDT by TChad (The MSM, having nuked its own credibility, is now bombing the rubble.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Me too.


4 posted on 08/09/2021 7:27:06 PM PDT by Brilliant
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

DAMN the Bee... LOL


5 posted on 08/09/2021 7:34:39 PM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. P144:1)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Babylon Bee has another winner! LOL!


6 posted on 08/09/2021 7:38:13 PM PDT by NautiNurse (The Swiss beach volleyball team was inspired by the Jamaican bobsled team. )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
My brother is the Governor of Upper Lower Slobovia, so I'm safe...

-PJ

7 posted on 08/09/2021 7:40:28 PM PDT by Political Junkie Too (* LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I just hope Toobins obituary mentions his legal expertise as well as what he was most famous for....

I'm sure his friends and family and several hundred followers will appreciate that aspect of his career as well....

8 posted on 08/09/2021 7:49:38 PM PDT by M-cubed (The MSM is now the 4th Branch of Government.....)
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To: Political Junkie Too

Like good leftists, they probably created a distraction then slinked out, stiffing the bartender for the bill.


9 posted on 08/09/2021 7:53:07 PM PDT by Rembrandt (-a sure sign a Dem is lying - his lips are moving.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

This is why it’s important to be ‘sophisticated and vaccinated’.

If you’re in that category, you’re apparently golden.


10 posted on 08/09/2021 8:10:36 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: Chode

The Bee packs more into a headline than yak shows do in a hour.


11 posted on 08/09/2021 8:12:19 PM PDT by bigbob
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

“”Oh well. Maybe we’ll get a job at NBC News and we can lock women in our offices like Matt Lauer instead of refusing the jab.”

“At publishing time, they’d also realized they could have just covered for their governor brother during a sex scandal as well.”

__________

Bru...Tal!

Those guys at the BBC know how to round out an article, and finish it...with authority!

Lovin’ it.


12 posted on 08/09/2021 8:40:55 PM PDT by one guy in new jersey
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Um-hmm.


13 posted on 08/09/2021 9:08:27 PM PDT by sauropod (Amateurs built the ark; Professionals built the Titanic. Anon)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

almost got me


14 posted on 08/09/2021 9:40:58 PM PDT by SendShaqtoIraq ( )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

The should have burned down a Wendy’s.

CNN loves people who do that sort of thing.


15 posted on 08/09/2021 9:54:15 PM PDT by Kickass Conservative (THEY LIVE, and we're the only ones wearing the Sunglasses.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Damn this is absolutely brilliant.


16 posted on 08/10/2021 12:35:59 AM PDT by BiglyCommentary
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To: BiglyCommentary

And the beat goes on.


17 posted on 08/10/2021 12:40:46 AM PDT by Robwin ( )
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To: bigbob

100%


18 posted on 08/10/2021 7:34:51 AM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. P144:1)
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