Posted on 08/02/2021 9:29:16 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
U.S.—Scientists are warning of a deadly new COVID variant: the Supersized Double Mega Limited Edition Teenage Mutant Ninja Snyder Cut Variant With Frickin' Laser Cannons.
"God help us all," murmured one scientist at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "It's evolved laser cannons! Frickin' laser cannons! If it weren't so deadly, it'd be pretty frickin' rad. Man, oh man."
The new variant is double the size of the last one. It is also supersized, so it comes with larger fries and a giant sweet tea, which is a nice consolation for it being so deadly. It's a limited edition, so get it while supplies last. It also apparently had radioactive sludge spilled on it while it was being developed at the Wuhan lab, so it has developed a craving for pizza and the tendency to shout, "Cowabunga!" and other radical phrases. And, as we mentioned before, it's got frickin' laser cannons. Finally, it's the Snyder Cut of the virus, so it has over 4 hours of extra lung-hacking action.
"This virus is now totally rad," said Dr. Fauci. "I hope you guys like it."
Fauci has promised the "Fauci Cut" coming soon, where he has total creative freedom to create the virus without the Chinese government editing his work so closely.
CoupFlu has never been about public health.
Frickin’ Laser Cannons are widely recognized as indicators that a virus was laboratory engineered, as opposed to naturally occurring.
Kind of a smoking gun.
Does it come in sweet and sour?
This was actually the most secret part of fraudci’s Wuhan gain of function funding.
Pretty frickin funny
BiteMe and Pelosi are useful idiots.
I wish we did know the identity of the people calling the shots.
Snyder Cut
—
Perfect! LOL!
Most are already in Biden’s cabinet....with certainty connected underground to Obama and his cohorts outside Washington. Chicago thugs he had used and supported him as well as Soros thugs. He’s not working alone but he’s certainly in it.
All your immunity are belong to us.
Injection gave you Auto Immune Disease.
That right. You have AIDS whether acquired or however you see it.
You have weakened immune system and your proteins are attacking your own body.
You want to live, you pay. You pay to play.
Covid injection is AIDS.
Washington and Lincoln had it easier.
The nation’s enemies weren’t hiding in plain sight.
In before the FR CDC PAID VaxxTrolls show up to say this is a real danger!!
Combined Coronavirus PING! and DANG!
COVID turned me into a Newt! (I got better).
LMAO!! Good job, BB.
lol
Used to refer to a particular director's cut of a Justice League film, it's darker and more complex than the original release, I'm told.
Ice Ice baby
I like pug butts I cannot lie
Just a guess since I never was into the teenage mutant ninja turtles but I assume he was the director of the movie and made a version with his edits.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.