Free Republic

U.S.—Scientists are warning of a deadly new COVID variant: the Supersized Double Mega Limited Edition Teenage Mutant Ninja Snyder Cut Variant With Frickin' Laser Cannons. "God help us all," murmured one scientist at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "It's evolved laser cannons! Frickin' laser cannons! If it weren't so deadly, it'd be pretty frickin' rad. Man, oh man." The new variant is double the size of the last one. It is also supersized, so it comes with larger fries and a giant sweet tea, which is a nice consolation for it being so deadly. It's a limited edition,...

A mysterious greenish liquid that forced lane closures after it seeped onto a Michigan interstate Friday allegedly came from a closed electroplating business whose owner is currently serving a year in federal prison for operating an unlicensed hazardous waste storage facility. Federal agencies had been called to investigate the strange oozing liquid pouring onto I-696 in Madison Heights — a suburb of Detroit — which they found to be the chemical hexavalent chromium, Michigan State Police said on Twitter on Saturday. […] The Michigan Department of Environment, Great Lakes, and Energy (EGLE) said in a statement that crews had spent...

Day-old pizza is God's gift to college students, starving artists and anyone who thought it was a brilliant idea to order that extra-large double-meat at 2 a.m. after coming home from the bar, only to go sleepy-peepy halfway through the first slice. But while cold pizza is a bona fide breakfast of champions, what about room-temperature pizza? Will you get sick if you throw down a few slices of the pepperoni that sat in a greasy cardboard box next to your bed for the last eight hours? The official answer — don't risk it. The United States Department of Agriculture...

Nickelodeon has called their recent actions "a mistake" following a scandal involving actor Jason Biggs, who sent a series of extremely graphic and lewd tweets before having his page promoted by the network. In a statement to Breitbart.com, whose managing editor Alexander Marlow emailed a complaint to the network’s vice president of programming, Nickelodeon offered the following explanation: “The offensive comments made by Jason Biggs last week on his personal twitter account do not reflect our company’s views or values, and we condemn them. Nickelodeon does not support or condone the use of graphic or vulgar language on any of...

As Twitchy reported earlier today, Nickelodeon is now actively encouraging children to visit misogynist Jason Biggs’s filth-filled Twitter page. In light of that, we thought this might be a good time to recap just a few of the quotable quotes Biggs’s young fans will see: