Amy's Place .. Poetry and Potpourri .. December 15-16, 2004

12-15-04 | JustAmy, St.Louie1, MamaBear, Billie

[JustAmy]

Welcome To....


'Amy's Place' welcomes all poets
and those who enjoy poetry. 'Amy's Place' is more than just about poetry.
Come in, relax, and share with fellow FReepers
your thoughts about any of the things on the *Menu*.

Enjoy! :)












Never Forget!









Amy's personal guardian ~
the always charming, lovable, huggable,
LouieWolf




Many thanks for stopping by. : )

[NicknamedBob]

If I were in your position, I would write a poem about "Not Yet".

I'm like the Tasmanian Devil. I have an appetite for poetry.

[Conspiracy Guy]

I love it too. But lately I have too many distractions. I will catch up.

Later, I am gone.

David

[NicknamedBob]

Hey, did y'all notice that I posted Naked! over at the Lair?

I think the rules are different there...

[tuliptree76]

Thanks Bob. :-)

[PoorMuttly]

"Dog's Rules For Christmas"

Gee, I never heard those rules. Must be a mistake. Anyway, I wish you wouldn't spread this kind of stuff around. It gets the humans thinking....and that could negatively impact the holiday hunting season.

I had a friend whose dogs would always eat the decorations, tinsel and all. His birthday was in the winter too, so there was lots of, shall we say, opportunity to assist the humans in keeping the place neat. He saw one of his dogs furiously dragging his butt across the patio. Even being hung-over and sick from all the feasting and cake, and impeccably groomed and dressed, he realized he had to help his doggie out...somehow. He got down on his knees, and courageously examined the dog's posterior (opposite the end that eats, FYI). Something was sticking out....and he didn't know what to do. Should he take him to the vet? Would it eventually pass?

He decided that he had better do the right thing, however unpleasant, since invited guests were expected any minute. He held the dog down, and pinched the protruding object clenched in Rocko's now rather untidy and irritated sphincter. For what seemed like eternity, a ribbon-like object unfurled, much like a ticker-tape machine....slowly...and what seened to be letters....A....B...H...HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

[SpookBrat]

Can I vent? Do you mind? I collect stamps for "little bear". I have been buying them for 10 years and stuffing them in my dresser drawer for the day he would care about something like that.

Today, I had to mail a Christmas card to Canada, plus get some stamps, etc. I bought some John Wayne stamps today and asked the guy behind the counter if they had the Ronald Reagan stamps in yet. I heard they were coming out in February, but thought there could be a chance they might be in already.

Well......you would have thought I asked the guy to buy stamps of satan or something. He said, "I haven't heard of any Ronald Reagan stamps. You want stamps of a lying President???? Some people don't have 20/20 vision!!! Blah, blah, blah, rant, rant, rant." I didn't know what to say and just stood there like an idiot. Finally all I could think of to say was, "I just want the Ronald Reagan stamps. That's all I asked. I buy them for my son. Merry freaking Christmas." I left off the freaking, but did wish him a Merry Christmas, smiled real big and left.

WHAT A JERK!!!!!!! Don't we pay his salary? Isn't it his JOB to sell me stamps?

[Jen]

Did you get his name? Complain to his supervisor. Merry Christmas to you Spookie! You were far too polite to that @ss.

[Jen]

What a funny story! I've had similar experiences with Pepper (who likes to eat everything!). Nice to see you venture out from behind your bush and poke your head into Amy's Place. Merry Christmas!!

[Jen]

Christmas puppies! How sweet. Wish I could have one. My last Christmas puppy is now an old lady dog of 12 years!

[xzins]

write him up; turn him in...poor customer service.

He has to realize as a customer service rep that half the country voted for Reagan

[Victoria Delsoul]

Hi everybody.

I found a Politically Correct Santa.

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.

His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.

So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
--Harvey Ehrlich

[tuliptree76]

Hi Victoria. How are you doing?

[Victoria Delsoul]

That's okay, I'm easy to forget,

I don't forget easily. :-)

[Victoria Delsoul]

Merry Christmas to you too, deadhead.

[Victoria Delsoul]

Memphis, sounds fine.

[MeekOneGOP]

hahahaaa! :^D

Funny.

[Victoria Delsoul]

Thanks for the recipe, Tulip.

[tuliptree76]

You're welcome. :-)

[Victoria Delsoul]

Hi Tulip. I'm doing well.... one day left for total happiness, lol. How about you?

[MeekOneGOP]

Man. The world is full of arses, alright. Sheesh!

Reagan had a sense of humor, unlike that jerk.