U.S. — According to sources, an exhausted nation was wishing Minnesota would just be normal for, like, five minutes. Insiders revealed that every sane person in America had grown tired of Minnesota being unable to go more than a few seconds without some type of bizarre scandal or horrific incident. "Please," said one American citizen. "We're tired. Please just be normal, Minnesota. Please, we beg you." Experts were reportedly stumped as to what Minnesota's major problem is or how it got so bad. "Yeah, it beats me," said Dr. Harold Beeker, an expert on states. "Minnesota is kinda insane right...