VATICAN — In a rare instance of its viewpoints aligning with divine truth, the Vatican announced that it had reluctantly sided with God on the subject of gender theory. Despite its ongoing efforts to blur the lines of objective morality and evolve the Catholic Church into a more progressive entity, the Vatican said it had no choice but to take the same position held by Almighty God and condemn gender theory. "We don't do this very often," said one Vatican spokesman. "It's always our policy to try to find a workaround to avoid siding with God on these types of...