WASHINGTON, D.C.—Addressing lawmakers from both sides of the aisle, President Joe Biden began his State of the Union speech by announcing a bold plan to increase spending on Smergberd, Rustamufferns, and Blabtrussels. “Not only will we fight inflation by increasing government spending on these invaluable potumpalumps,” said the President, passionately teetering to one side, “but we will also make sure every man, woman, and chargafar receives quality, affordable sploogle.” Senator Chuck Schumer applauded Biden’s spending plan, giving it a standing ovation. Later, when asked to comment on any particulars regarding the speech, the Democrat senator said he was confident there...
