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Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going? Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?" Woods replies, "Not too bad. I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now." Stevie: "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then the next time I play, it seems to be all right." Surprised, Tiger says, "You play GOLF?!!" Stevie: "Yes, I've been playing for years." Tiger: "But -- you're...

SACRAMENTO -- Gov. Jerry Brown's image as a responsible, penny-pinching steward of California's finances has been cemented in recent weeks because of his renewed call to pay off California's "wall of debt. That's a term Brown coined when he took office to describe the tens of billions of dollars California owed to public schools and special funds whose coffers were raided to help balance budgets in the past. But look behind that $24.9 billion wall and you'll see a $330 billion skyline of other liabilities threatening the state's financial health. It includes $80 billion needed to cover teachers' pensions and...

Shamrock cut over his eye while sparring.

(June 25) - It was the cut heard round the world. Exactly 15 years ago this week the world first heard the story of John Wayne and Lorena Bobbitt. John Wayne, an ex-Marine, was accused of coming home drunk and raping his wife. Lorena was accused of retaliating by cutting off her husband's penis while he was asleep. Lorena went from anonymous to notorious - her story the subject of countless newspaper and magazine articles. Now in her first ever network morning show interview she discusses how she's using her notoriety to help others. "All of a sudden, my private...

An undisclosed number of UC executives will share $770,000 in pay raises to be discussed today behind closed doors by a key committee of the University of California Board of Regents. It will be the second round of pay hikes for some of the senior managers, who got an average 2.5 percent annual salary boost in November. ... --snip-- The names of those in line for the raises were not disclosed. ... --snip-- Because UC officials refused to release specifics on the pay package, it is unclear exactly how many of the university system's 300 top executives -- chancellors, vice...

NATIONWIDE knife amnesty to end the carnage on our streets was launched yesterday. The five-week initiative, running throughout the UK, is aimed at repeating the success of Operation Blade, which took thousands of weapons off the streets of Strathclyde in 1993. Justice Minister Cathy Jamieson yesterday vowed it would be just one of many measures to battle knife crime in Scotland. Victims of the scourge have included policeman Lewis Fulton, knifed through the heart in Glasgow in 1994 as he tried to arrest a teenage schizophrenic. Knives are becoming an increasing menace in the hands of young girls, too. Kirsty...

MADISON, Wis. - A researcher from the University of Wisconsin at Madison has figured out a better way to slice cheese — just use a laser. "At any other university, people would have just laughed. But this is Wisconsin. It's cheese. And this is no laughing matter," said Xiaochun Li, a mechanical engineering professor and laser expert. Traditional cheese processing has a number of shortcomings, he said. Large cutting machines require considerable care to keep cheese from becoming contaminated by bacteria. And it's impossible to slice cheese very thin because it tears or sticks to the cutting blade. But now...

<p>The former president battles a slice while playing in the Hyandai Team Matches pro-am.</p> <p>Though his politics tend toward the left, former President Clinton's golf game leans strongly to the right.</p> <p>Clinton played in the Hyundai Team Matches pro-am Friday and spent most of the day fighting a slice. His playing partner at The Golf Links at The St. Regis Monarch Beach Resort was Fred Couples.</p>

<p>Modern politics is caught in a vicious downward cycle. Voters are tuning out, and the politicians, increasingly desperate to reach those who remain engaged, are using tactics that drive still more citizens to the sidelines. That, in turn, prompts the candidates to try even harder, and so on.</p>