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Keyword: silly

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  • Media memories

    11/17/2021 3:31:48 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 3 replies
    email from friend | 11/17/2021 | unknown
    Remember when Playboy magazine reportedly offered Sarah Palin $4,000,000 to pose nude in an upcoming issue? Then, Michelle Obama was offered $50.00 by National Geographic? And remember when KFC offered a "Hillary" meal, consisting of two small breasts and two large thighs? Now KFC is offering the "Biden Cabinet Bucket." It consists of nothing but left wings and assholes.
  • Puns and Groaners

    08/26/2021 2:21:05 PM PDT · by sodpoodle · 17 replies
    email from friend | 8/26/2021 | unknown
    How does a lawyer sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? A maybe I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost...
  • Thank God for the Irish!

    05/20/2021 7:45:49 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 13 replies
    email from friend | 5/20/21 | unknown
    Thank God for the Irish! A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures. Over a double latte, the Greek mentions "We built the Parthenon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo." "Aye, and it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices." "But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics." "Granted, but it was the Irish who built the first timepieces." Knowing that he's about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: "Keep in mind...
  • The American Spirit and COVID — A Warning and a Laugh

    04/12/2021 10:44:11 AM PDT · by Hulka · 8 replies
    Self | 4/12/2021 | Hulka
    Post your COVID insanity story here. Before I kick this off with my story, I observe Saint Fauci proclaims wearing masks is critical to protecting American lives, but if wearing a mask is necessary to save lives, how does Fauci explain homeless people? They hardly wash their hands, seldom practice social distancing, and don’t appear to ever wear a mask, BUT we aren't seeing droves of dead homeless people littering the streets. And. . .Why do Americans appear to be spring-loaded to following every government edict, no matter how silly? Which brings me to my COVID silliness experience. . .
  • SILLY CHECKS IN: Silly still alive, still silly

    03/26/2021 2:10:22 AM PDT · by Silly · 24 replies
    Silly | Day before tomorrow 3/26/2021 | Silly (who else?!)
    Well, time to check in and report the goings-on in Sillyville. I'm still in NYC, still writing, and reaching 10 years with my employer (Woo-har!). CURRENT PASSIONS: DEGOOGLED PHONES and internet privacy are very important these days, and I'm enjoying the community over at Brax.Me. Nice to have a non-political ally in Rob Braxman; I hope you're familiar with him and supportive. Favorite phone: Original Google edition Pixel and Pixel XL (2016). (In Very Silver and Quite Black, respectively. BRAX.ME reminds me somewhat of FR, and I've run into some Freepers there. NY TIMES MET DIARY writing is — just...
  • Study Warns That New Work-From-Home Trend Is Making People More “Racist”

    11/18/2020 8:05:03 AM PST · by blam · 35 replies
    Nation And State/Summit News ^ | 11-18-2020 | Paul Joseph Watson
    A new study being promoted by the mass media claims that working from home makes people more “racist” because they are less exposed to ‘diversity’ in the workplace. The survey, conducted by polling company Survation for the Woolf Institute, “warns that without alternative settings to offices being set up, opportunities for social mixing between different religious and ethnic groups will be greatly reduced,” according to the BBC. 76 percent of those who work in shared offices in the UK are exposed to ethnic diversity, meaning those who work from home are isolated from such a setting and as a result...
  • Capt. 'Sully' Sullenberger slams reported Trump comments on war dead: 'No respect for the office he holds' [barf]

    09/05/2020 8:23:02 AM PDT · by Olog-hai · 127 replies
    The Hill ^ | 09/05/20 08:05 AM EDT | Morgan Gstalter
    Retired airline pilot Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger on Friday condemned President Trump’s reported comments on fallen U.S. service members, saying the commander in chief has “completely failed to uphold his oath.” Sullenberger, an Air Force veteran who landed the famous "Miracle on the Hudson," wrote a thread following the bombshell report this week from The Atlantic accusing the president of disparaging dead military veterans as “losers” and “suckers.” “For the first time in American history, a president has repeatedly shown utter and vulgar contempt and disrespect for those who have served and died serving our country,” the former pilot wrote. “While...
  • Former President Joe Biden Joins Trump Administration As Medical Procurement Czar.

    04/02/2020 10:26:55 AM PDT · by Captain Peter Blood · 43 replies
    Self | 04-02-2020 | Captain Peter Blood
    BREAKING NEWS: President Trump and Former VP Joe Biden spoke on the phone last night to discuss the Coronavirus Crisis. Mr. Biden brought up a number of concerns and suggestions. President Trump assured Mr. Biden that most of his suggestions had already been addressed and that everything that could be done was already in place. Mr. Biden offered his services to help in the crisis and the President told him that there was one critical area he might be able to help. President Trump indicated that with all of the urgent priorities his administration was dealing with there was one...
  • Attention to All Catholics: Protest This Satanic Black Mass in Canada

    08/16/2019 6:15:24 PM PDT · by ConernedAmerican · 14 replies
    TFP Student Action ^ | 08-16-19 | TFP
    I regret to inform you that satanists are planning a blasphemous Black Mass in Ottawa (Canada) at a heavy metal bar called “The Koven” on Saturday, Aug. 17, 2019. This new attack against God and the Holy Catholic Church -- billed as a first in Canadian history -- is described in these terms: "Satanic Unbaptism""Black Mass Ritual""Featuring Burlesque performances” Sign your protest now, right here. No words can describe how evil this is because every Black Mass is a direct sin of hatred against God.  Typically -- in a satanic Black Mass -- the true Catholic Mass is twisted and...
  • Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez livestreamed herself drinking wine and assembling IKEA furniture

    04/05/2019 3:15:55 AM PDT · by a little elbow grease · 65 replies ^ | 4/4/19 | Summer Meza
    Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez livestreamed herself drinking wine and assembling IKEA furniture. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) may be in Congress now, but her Wednesday nights still consist of some pretty normal stuff. As BuzzFeed News' Vera Bergengruen pointed out on Twitter, Ocasio-Cortez spent her evening drinking wine, assembling IKEA furniture, and chatting about politics. The difference between the congresswoman and her constituents? More than 8,000 people tuned into an Instagram livestream to watch her do it. Ocasio-Cortez's livestreams often attract attention, like when she discussed the fear of bringing children into a world affected by climate change. The Washington Post even wrote...
  • Need a Smile?

    03/08/2019 2:24:15 PM PST · by sodpoodle · 23 replies
    email | 3/8/2019 | unknown
    A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado. When we...
  • Saturday Stuff for Seniors

    02/09/2019 4:19:22 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 19 replies
    emails | 2/9/2019 | unknown
    ALZHEIMER'S EYE TEST Count every "F" in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS..... (SEE BELOW) HOW MANY 'F's? Count them again. WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.. READ IT AGAIN ! Really, go back and try to find the 6 'F's before you scroll down. The reasoning behind this is .......... The brain cannot process "OF". F INISHED F ILES ARE THE RE SULT O F YEARS O F SCIENTI F IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE O F YEARS..... Anyone who counts all 6 'F's...
  • State of the Union Fact Check: What Trump Got Right and Wrong (my addition: You'll LOL!)

    02/06/2019 9:00:44 AM PST · by Alas Babylon! · 23 replies
    New York Slimes via MSN ^ | 6 Feb 2019 | 19 Separate people!
    President Trump leaned hard on the strength of the American economy during his second State of the Union address on Tuesday, but with a blend of precise statistics and gauzy superlatives that are much more difficult to measure. He also returned to a theme that dominated the second year of his presidency — a quest for a border wall with Mexico to cope with what he said is a crisis of crime and drugs in the United States caused by illegal immigration. The two issues dominated his address, which in tone was more measured than his biting Twitter feed, but...
  • ‘Empire’ Star Jussie Smollett Attacked in Possible Hate Crime: Police (TMZ spreads fake news)

    01/29/2019 12:57:00 PM PST · by Mount Athos · 30 replies
    daily beast ^ | 1/29/19
    TMZ reported that the attackers shouted “This is MAGA country,” but police told the Beast, “There is no report of that being said.”
  • A Few Friday Funnies

    01/11/2019 7:38:48 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 13 replies
    emails | 1/11/2019 | several
    1.Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written An impressive new book. It's called ........ 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People' 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink And be Mary.. 3. The difference between the Pope and Your boss, the Pope only expects you To kiss his ring. 4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant Flash and it is gone. 5. The only time the world beats a path to Your door is if you're in the bathroom. 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and That...
  • Halloween Humor

    10/30/2018 4:58:20 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 8 replies
    email from friend | 10/30/2018 | unknown
    A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party. Since her husband did not know what her...
  • The Silly Debate About Socialism

    09/06/2018 6:07:29 AM PDT · by ChicagoConservative27 · 24 replies
    realclearpolitics ^ | 09/06/2018 | Froma Harrop
    What's with all this socialism business? A handful of lefty candidates are calling themselves socialists without a single radical socialistic item on their promise lists. They seem to have little idea of what socialism is. And most of the conservatives talking back to them don't seem to know, either. Simply put, socialism is a system whereby the state owns the means of production. In capitalism, the means of production are privately owned. Would someone kindly tell us which companies Bernie Sanders would nationalize, starting with Bernie Sanders? "Spreading the wealth" is not socialism. Sweden and other Scandinavian countries that Sanders...
  • Technical Support for Seniors

    08/30/2018 3:55:16 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 19 replies
    email from a friend | 8/30/2018 | unknown
    Why seniors never change their passwords WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: Cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: Boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. USER: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces USER: 50damnboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. USER: 50damnBoiledCabbages ShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow! WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbages ShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use
  • The BIGGEST slingshot EVER

    07/10/2018 11:01:51 PM PDT · by 1_Inch_Group · 10 replies
    youtube ^ | 2 Oct 2017 | Jeorg Sprave
    Heh heh heh....Let me show you it's features...
  • ‘Godfather Waltz’ [NYT piece by Freeper Silly]

    07/07/2018 4:29:31 PM PDT · by Silly · 28 replies
    The New York Times ^ | July 2, 2018 | Paul Klenk
    Dear Diary: On Saturday mornings when my windows are open, I sometimes hear a trumpet player practicing as I’m waking up. The silvery tones ring through several courtyards on my block. I cannot pinpoint the source. The musician is clearly a professional. Scales fly up and down, one impeccable glissando at a time, pausing briefly before climbing to the next half-step. One day, at the top of an octave, the mystery trumpeter added an unexpected flourish… [snip]