Posted on 08/26/2021 2:21:05 PM PDT by sodpoodle
How does a lawyer sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it
Will glass coffins be a success?
Remains to be seen
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter
What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?
A maybe
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case
Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today?
I don't know and don't really care
Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population?
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.
My ex-wife still misses me.
But her aim is starting to improve
The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize
I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: That's the last thing I need!
If you need an Ark - I Noah guy
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, but it let out a little whine
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Son: "Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
Dad: "No sun."
Thanks.
I liked the puns.
As they say, puns are like the moisture in the eyes of a snake. The lowest form of humor.
Ping
bttt
bkmk
How did Biden answer the question "boxers or briefs"?
Depends!
I thought this Thread was about Xiden’s Speech.
Jim H, you live on in your puns...
During the Dark Ages, we had too many knights.
Did you all hear about the circus fire?
It was in tents.
(ducking)
Silence is golden.
Duct tape is silver.
Bump
Sting has been kidnapped, The Police have no lead
That was pretty good.
You’ve got a hell of a moniker there John.
5.56mm
1st hydrogen atom: I’ve lost my electron!
2nd hydrogen atom: Really? Are you sure?
1st hydrogen atom: Yes, I’m positive.
How do you get down off an elephant?
You don’t; you get down off a duck.
What’s the difference between a Vitamin and Hormone?
You can’t make a vita min.
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