Free Republic

I started writing a collection of sarcastic definitions about a year or so ago for fun and have amassed roughly 50 words so far, so I made a page for them and was planning on doing a daily/almost daily flashcard like the one below.

Donald Trump is the only candidate in the 2016 race who A) fights, B) tells it like it is, and C) has a plan to make America great again. Everybody is talking about how he won the GOP debate. He gets bigger crowds than Bernie Sanders. Sure, he’s advocated liberal policies and supported Democratic politicians in the past, but that just proves Donald Trump is a savvy businessman. RINOs and other members of the politically correct establishment will keep attacking him because they are fat slobs with ugly wives who can’t afford a classy suit. American voters fed up with...

I owe Democrats an apology. Flipping through some of my hate mail (I lead a tremendously exciting life, as you can see) it dawned on me that it’s quite possible conservatives are a little too hard on our liberal friends. (Also: I’m trolling for more hate mail.) And so, with reserved humility, I sat down with a drink (less than 32 ounces) and a pen, and made a list of things for which we conservatives ought to apologize. It’s the least I can do:I am sorry about labeling Net Neutrality “broadband-socialism”. Clearly my distrust in the folks who brought us...

Gov. Scott Walker still hasn't spoken with President Barack Obama about the president's love for America, but the possible contender for the Republican nomination now has an opinion on the subject. Wisconsin's governor tells "Fox News Sunday" that Obama or "anybody else who is willing to put their name on the ballot certainly has to have the love for country to do that." ...

Now that President Barack Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry have launched their new friendship initiative with Cuba, progressives are thinking more optimistically about what else might be possible in the remainder of the president’s term. After all, since the November 2014 elections, Obama has moved sharply left on immigration, climate change, and net neutrality. So why shouldn’t the Left hope for more? What might be next on the Obama agenda? Breitbart News has obtained one such to-do list: 10. Marijuana to be completely decriminalized under the ever-expanding doctrine of “prosecutorial discretion.” In the meantime, the administration will push...

Today, Nancy Pelosi announced her support for the President's rejection of a travel ban for West African nations experiencing the Ebola epidemic. Pelosi explained her support for rejection of the travel ban because of the jobs Ebola saved or created in the U.S. She pointed out that for every Ebola patient 50 medical personnel were required for their treatment. Additionally, thousands of dollars of supplies and medicines and wrist band thingies were required for each patient. Pelosi stated that although unemployment was good for the encomomy, an Ebola epidemic had the possibility setting the economy on fire. If the EPA...

When your an...

We didn’t think anything could top the excitement of voting for the next Democrat car magnet, but some givers on Twitter have stepped up with some #DemocratTShirts that really need to be mass-produced. #BoycottCoke Save a Child Urban Outfitters #IfIWokeUpWithAmnesia Scotland Bob Geldof #MadeInAus #DemocratTShirts pic.twitter.com/sOBKx2V0qm James Nathaniel ‏@JNathaniel12 1m #DemocratTShirts pic.twitter.com/2iy4XmCWzg Jeremy Rivkin ‏@SodasCat 1m Morals? Values? We got drums dude. #DemocratTShirts pic.twitter.com/903264faXz crazylarry ‏@Madcap62Larry 1m #DemocratTShirts So you voted for Bush? Your opinions are invalid. pic.twitter.com/QYz5w0t11I @ShareThis Jami ‏@Jami_USA 1m #DemocratTshirts "Mom! You shrunk the new shirt you bought me! That's it, I'm going to turn my music...

Hillary Clinton has served America for decades; in January 1993, she made history as she became the country's first co-president along with her husband, Bill. After her tour in the White House ended, she answered the call from her adopted state of New York and voluntarily gave up a lucrative career trading cattle futures to act as one of only two US senators from that state. In 2008, after tirelessly devoting herself to helping Barack Obama become America's best president, she looked forward to retiring to a quiet life in a small cottage somewhere. Once again her country called, pleading...

The US Secret Service wants to identify sarcastic tweeters from the serious in a bid that will surely cause its software to sink and buckle.A tender issued by the security agency sought a way to determine sentiment, identify influencers and section off those exercising the lowest form of wit across the twitter sphere.In what appears to reveal the agency's tight upgrade regime and security requirements, the Twitter trawler would need to be compatible with the dust-clad Internet Explorer 8, first released five years ago.The agency also wants to geo-locate users based on tweets while displaying results in "user friendly" coloured...

The Secret Service is purchasing software to watch users of social networks in real time, according to contract documents. In a work order posted on Monday, the agency details information the tool will collect -- ranging from emotions of Internet users to old Twitter messages. Its capabilities will include “sentiment analysis,”

The owners of the Washington Redskins, NFL and Senator Elizabeth (Herring) Warren have come to a compromise in renaming the team. The new team name, effective this fall, will be: Washington Red Herrings. Senator Warren, a princess in the Red Herring tribe of Massachusetts, suggested the Red Herring name instead of the racist Redskins moniker. Senator Warren stated that the Red Herring tribe had a proud heritage going all the way back to the original settlement of the country. Chief Herring Bone and his band were present and participated in the first Thanksgiving festivities. The tribe invented salted pumpkin seeds...

Robert Gates as selected as the new president of the Boy Scouts of America. Robert, an Eagle Scout in his youth and former Secretary of Defense, was elated with the selection. Robert stated that he was pleased that queers were welcomed in the boy scouts but was severely displeased that adult predatory queers were not allowed to serve as scout masters and leaders. During his tenure as Secretary of Defense, Robert has queerified the military which he counted as one of his major accomplishments which he would like to replicate with the Boy Scouts. Robert noted that with many predatory...

A $2.5 million fine, a lifetime ban from the NBA and potential confiscation of his personal property through the forced sale of the L.A. Clippers? Are you kidding? That’s it? Donald Sterling is a racist pig. “First stone” first shmone. This thing ain’t over by a long shot. As CBS reports, “Donald Sterling’s lifetime ban from the NBA isn’t enough, NAACP says.” Al Sharpton agrees, adding, “No one should be allowed to own a team if they have in fact engaged in this kind of racial language.” Sharpton warns that he is “prepared … to rally in front of the...

It's time to clean up the mess! Snow-blowers and shovels are sure to be out in full force Friday after round two of snow Thursday night. Road crews are warning motorists to drive cautiously and to beware of slippery conditions. Road crews hope to continue their work on area side streets. It is a snow day once again for school kids in the D.C. Region as most major systems are closed Friday.

Breaking... Obama administration confirms that it was not Inner core or Outer core Al-Qaeda, but more likely Mantle (most likely rigid, not stiffer) or crustal elements --- possibly even sedimentary in nature. /sarcasm. Honestly, does anyone buy this attempt by the Obama administration to try and differentiate without making a difference in regards to the attack on the U.S. compounds in Benghazi, Libya? Not "Core" Al-Qaeda. Please... Breaking News... 2 minutes ago: "Hillary: What difference does it make if it was inner or outer core?"

Professor Yisrael (Robert) Aumann reacted Saturday night to the news that Haifa University’s Executive Committee has decided not to award him an honorary doctorate due to his right-wing political views. Aumann is a Nobel Prize winner in the field of economics. Speaking to Channel 1’s program Roim Olam, Aumann joked : “I’ve prayed and aspired to getting an honorary doctorate from Haifa University for my whole life.” “I’m very disappointed,” he added, sarcastically. Aumann linked the issue to academic boycotts against Israeli schools. “I have to say that we create this issue of boycotts ourselves,” he said. Former Member of...