A gay-rights group is demanding an apology from Newark School Superintendent Marion Bolden for ordering her staff to black out a picture of a gay couple kissing be fore distributing copies of the yearbook to students at East Side High School. Calling the directive homophobic and unlawful, Steven Goldstein, chairman of Garden State Equality, said yesterday the school also should redistribute a new batch of uncensored yearbooks at the district's expense. "This action by the school district will have an unspeakably vile chilling effect on other gay and lesbian students coming out," Goldstein said. "Her (Bolden) trying to erase a...