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Keyword: notsatire

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  • X: A Swedish court has ruled Muslim migrant who raped 16-year-old girl won’t be deported because the rape didn’t last long enough

    10/23/2025 2:09:23 PM PDT · by TigerClaws · 78 replies
    A Swedish court has ruled that the Eritrean migrant who raped 16-year-old Meya Åberg won’t be deported because the rape didn’t last long enough. The rape took place on September 1st last year when Meya missed her bus and was walking through a pedestrian tunnel after finishing her shift at McDonald’s. Meya and her family immediately reported it to the police. The 18-year-old Eritrean migrant, named Yazied Mohamed, was sentenced to 3 years in prison for rape. Mohamed is a citizen of Eritrea, and the prosecutor sought his deportation. However, the Court of Appeal noted that the man has refugee...
  • Pope Leo XIV Blesses a Block of Ice in Bizarre Protest Against Trump and GOP Climate Deniers

    10/03/2025 7:03:23 PM PDT · by doc maverick · 80 replies
    ibtimes ^ | 10/03/25 | J. Alas
    “In a dramatic display of symbolism, Pope Leo XIV blessed a block of ice to challenge climate change deniers and urge political leaders to act. The gesture was performed at a global gathering south of Rome marking the 10th anniversary of Laudato Si, the late Pope Francis' ecological encyclical. Standing before a melting glacier fragment, Pope Leo invoked his predecessor's environmental legacy while chastising those who mock climate science. He called on leaders to act with courage rather than delay, and invited attendees to join the effort.”
  • Serena Williams left uncomfortable with NYC hotel's cotton plant decoration: 'Doesn't feel great'

    09/25/2025 3:35:51 PM PDT · by RummyChick · 138 replies
    daily mail ^ | 9/25/2025 | JAKE FENNER, US SPORTS WRITER
    Serena Williams has spoken of her discomfort after she spotted a cotton plant in a New York City hotel. The retired tennis star was in the Big Apple on Thursday after promoting Kim Kardashian's SKIMS/Nike launch the day prior. The 43-year-old recorded her walk down the hallway of an undisclosed hotel and spotted a table with a vase of cotton plants.
  • Trump backs renewed push to rig the U.S. census by only counting citizens

    07/12/2025 6:02:56 PM PDT · by MinorityRepublican · 142 replies
    MSNBC ^ | July 4, 2025 | Ja'han Jones
    Donald Trump and his allies have the U.S. census in their sights as they continue to pursue their anti-democratic visions for the country. Touring a controversial new immigrant detention center in Florida on Tuesday, Donald Trump excitedly backed a proposal from far-right Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., that would drastically alter the U.S. electoral map if implemented. Greene said Monday that her proposal, which she said she will introduce in the House, would require the Census Bureau to “immediately” conduct a new census — even though the census takes place every 10 years, with the next one set for 2030....
  • Germany’s Rape Epidemic Skyrockets 50%: Left-Liberal ‘Experts’ Propose Vaginal ‘Penis Trap’ Fix Instead of Mass Deportations

    07/12/2025 2:10:38 PM PDT · by kevcol · 55 replies
    The Gateway Pundit ^ | July 12, 2025 | Robert Semonsen
    Germany is grappling with a severe crisis in sexual violence, as evidenced by the latest Police Crime Statistics (PKS), which reported 13,320 cases of rape and sexual assault in 2024. Over the past five years, these offenses have surged by approximately 50 percent. In response to this escalating threat, some experts are exploring unconventional “technical aids” to combat sexual violence. Sociologist Julia Wegen from Ravensburg-Weingarten University and Dr. Urs Schneider from the Fraunhofer Institute for Health Technology in Stuttgart have proposed a study to evaluate the effectiveness of a South African anti-rape device known as “Rape-aXe” as a potential deterrent.
  • Former Vice President Pence will receive the Profile in Courage Award for his actions on Jan. 6

    05/04/2025 6:44:22 PM PDT · by chajin · 169 replies
    Spectrum Bay News 9 ^ | May 5, 2025 | staff
    BOSTON — Former Vice President Mike Pence on Sunday will receive the John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Award for his refusal to go along with President Donald Trump’s efforts to remain in office after losing the 2020 election... The award recognizes Pence “for putting his life and career on the line to ensure the constitutional transfer of presidential power on Jan. 6, 2021,” the JFK Library Foundation said, when it made the announcement last month. Pence will receive the award at the JFK Library in Boston.
  • Federal Judge Appoints Himself President

    03/14/2025 9:54:40 AM PDT · by Navy Patriot · 17 replies
    The Bee ^ | March 14, 2025 | Staff
    SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The Trump Administration agenda was stopped in its tracks this week after a federal judge appointed himself the new President of the United States. "There's nothing we can do," said legal experts. "He's a federal judge." Sources confirmed that Judge Mortimer Dithers of the Northern District of California granted himself all the powers of the executive branch in an emergency move to stop Trump. "Last night, the Constitution appeared to me in a dream and told me to do this," said Judge Dithers. "You can't argue with that. Also, my word is on this is law...
  • ‘On Her Time’: Harris Campaign Official Says Dem Nominee Will Talk To Press ‘When She Is Ready’

    08/24/2024 3:23:27 PM PDT · by Libloather · 96 replies
    Daily Caller via IJR ^ | 8/23/24 | Daily Caller News Foundation
    The Harris campaign’s principal deputy campaign manager Quentin Fulks told MSNBC on Friday that Democratic nominee Kamala Harris will talk to the press “on her time.” Harris has yet to conduct a single sit-down interview or press conference since the launch of her campaign on July 21. MSNBC’s Ana Cabrera asked Fulks for a specified time on when Harris will commit to an interview. “I’m wondering, because we’ve been all wanting to speak with the vice president, herself, we know it’s been a truncated start to this campaign for her as presidential candidate, but when will she sit down with...
  • Minnesota First Lady says she left the windows open during the 2020 BLM riots to smell the burning tires and soak in the moment

    08/06/2024 2:29:48 PM PDT · by hardspunned · 63 replies
    X ^ | 8/6/24 | DC Draino
    Minnesota First Lady says she left the windows open during the 2020 BLM riots to smell the burning tires and soak in the moment Her daughter was also caught leaking National Guard plans to rioters so they could avoid arrest
  • Top cancer charity apologizes for using word 'cervix' instead of trans-friendly 'front hole'

    06/09/2024 2:18:32 PM PDT · by libh8er · 79 replies
    Daily Mail ^ | 6.9.2024 | Emma Richter
    A top cancer charity has apologized for using the word 'cervix' instead of trans-friendly 'front hole.' The Canadian Cancer Society, which is run by philanthropist Andrea Seale, acknowledged the LGBTQ+ community on a webpage dedicated to cervical cancer, under the page's 'words matter' section. The non-profit said that 'many' non-binary people and transgender men have 'mixed feelings' or 'feel distanced' from the term cervix. 'We recognize that many trans men and non-binary people may have mixed feelings about or feel distanced from words like "cervix",' the statement said. 'You may prefer other words, such as “front hole.” We recognize the...
  • Covid vaccines not linked to fatal heart problems in young people, CDC finds

    04/11/2024 4:17:26 PM PDT · by blueyon · 87 replies
    NBC News ^ | 4/11/24 | Berkeley Lovelace Jr.
    There is no evidence that mRNA Covid vaccines cause fatal cardiac arrest or other deadly heart problems in teens and young adults, a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report published Thursday shows.
  • Episcopal Priest Loses Jeopardy! Tournament After Being Stumped on Bible Question

    03/18/2024 6:48:31 PM PDT · by Morgana · 81 replies
    Protestia ^ | March 15, 2024 | staff
    An Episcopal priest competing in a Jeopardy Tournament failed to advance to the finals, the result of falling badly behind and also being stumped by a question on the New Testament, according to the Episcopal News Service. David Sibley is the LGBTQ+ affirming rector of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Walla Walla, Washington, who recently participated in a Jeopardy Tournament. He previously competed in 2022, where he won $79,098 through four straight episodes. During that contest, he failed to answer a $1000 question: “It’s the ascension heavenward by true Christians both living and dead at Christ’s second coming.” Rather than...
  • WEF Declares War on Coffee: ‘No More Than 2 or 3 Cups Each Per Year’

    01/22/2024 3:32:38 PM PST · by Jan_Sobieski · 196 replies
    The People’s Voice ^ | 01/22/2024 | Baxter Dmitry
    The World Economic Forum has declared war on coffee drinkers, declaring that they are causing “global boiling” and must be stopped at all costs.According to World Economic Forum Agenda Contributor Hubert Keller, “The coffee that we all drink emits between 15 and 20 tonnes of CO2 per tonne of coffee… Every time we drink coffee, we are putting CO2 into the atmosphere.”“Most of the coffee is produced by monoculture, and monoculture is also affected by climate change. The quality of these natural assets is deteriorating rapidly.”According to the World Economic Forum, coffee drinkers will have to limit themselves to two...
  • FBI Arrests Babylon Bee Actor Siaka Massaquoi

    01/03/2024 11:50:01 AM PST · by Eleutheria5 · 23 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 14/12/23
    The Babylon Bee sits down with Siaka Massaquoi to talk about how the FBI recently separated him from his pregnant wife at the airport and arrested him over charges related to January 6th. What really happened on January 6th and what was Siaka doing at the Capitol Building?
  • Kevin McCarthy Says Republicans Are Too White, Democrats 'Actually Look Like America'

    12/10/2023 1:44:40 PM PST · by Macho MAGA Man · 136 replies
    Information Liberation ^ | December 8, 2023 | Chris Melanan
    ShareFacebookTwitterRedditTelegramVKEmail Congressman Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) expressed his open contempt for the white Republicans who make up the majority of the GOP and praised Democrats for their diversity during a debate at Oxford in the wake of his ouster as House Speaker. "When you look at the Democrats, they actually look like America," McCarthy said. "When I look at my party, we look like the most restrictive country club in America." McCarthy made the anti-white comments on Oct 28 while debating in favor of interventionism at the Oxford Union but they're only now going viral. McCarthy went on to say he...
  • Trump Charged With Questioning Election Results While Not Being A Democrat

    08/24/2023 6:42:54 PM PDT · by george76 · 25 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | Aug 4, 2023 | Babylon Bee
    Trump appeared in court yesterday after Special Council Jack Smith charged him with the high crime of questioning his election results while not being a Democrat. "The sacred words penned in our Constitution, which I have so much reverence for, make it clear that only Democrats are allowed to question election results," said Smith to reporters. "Trump brazenly questioned an election even though his name isn't Hillary and he didn't even have a fake Russian dossier to prove his case. This is a dark and dangerous day for our democracy. Hehe, alliteration." "We must be clear: no one who is...
  • Chicago group wants gangbangers to refrain from firing guns between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m.

    08/14/2023 9:32:47 AM PDT · by CFW · 34 replies
    CWBChicago ^ | 8/13/23 | staff
    CHICAGO — A North Side community group is calling for people to refrain from shooting guns in Chicago between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. to reduce the risk to people “not involved in high risk activities.” The proposal from Rogers Park-based Native Sons, known as “The People’s Ordinance,” was recently promoted in an email newsletter by Ald. Maria Hadden (49th). Shootings are up significantly this year in Rogers Park. Chicago police believe a reignited gang war between local Gangster Disciples and Black P Stones in Uptown is to blame.
  • Adriana E. Ramírez: Joe Cool (Barf)

    02/09/2023 8:17:01 AM PST · by Tolerance Sucks Rocks · 17 replies
    The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette ^ | February 8, 2023 | Adriana E. Ramirez
    Last night, President Joe Biden delivered the best State of the Union address I’ve heard in my lifetime. He turned what is usually a boring exercise in partisan clapping and mutual back-patting into a riveting combination pep rally, poetry slam and real-time legislative session. I was entranced the entire 72 minutes. I laughed. I cried. I yelled “sick burn.” Even Speaker Kevin McCarthy nodded along to half of what Mr. Biden had to say. Joe Cool was bipartisan. He appealed to Middle America. He handled his hecklers with a million-watt smile. He looked and sounded like Presidents do in the...
  • M&M’s Announces New Purple ‘Spokescandy’ to ‘Represent Acceptance and Inclusivity’

    09/29/2022 9:51:21 PM PDT · by bitt · 68 replies
    GATEWAY PUNDIT ^ | 9/29/2022 | Christina Laila
    M&M’s has added a new “spokescandy” to their cartoon character lineup, designed to “represent acceptance and inclusivity.” The character is the first new addition to the lineup in a decade. “Designed to represent acceptance and inclusivity, our newest member is known for her earnest self-expression,” the brand said in a statement. “Keen self-awareness, authenticity and confidence are the driving forces behind Purple’s charm and quirky nature. She joins the legendary cast of M&M’S characters, who recently were given a refresh with updated looks and more nuanced personalities back in January.” In January, the brand gave the Green candy a makeover...
  • Dem Wants Credit Card Data to Track Gun Purchases [semi-satire]

    09/11/2022 8:26:55 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 September 2022 | John Semmens
    New York City Mayor Eric Adams called for credit card companies to establish a merchant category code (MCC) for gun and ammunition stores, saying "the creation of a new code would enable financial institutions to help the government detect suspicious activity that may be tied to criminal purposes." Mastercard spokesman Seth Eisen was unenthusiastic about Adams' proposal, calling it "a troubling invasion of privacy based on specious reasoning. Criminals don't typically use credit cards to buy their guns. It leaves a too obvious paper trail. I can't see this added scrutiny applied to law-abiding citizens as a useful tool in...