Free Republic

John Morton, assistant secretary of homeland security for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement announced that “we won’t be accepting the transfer of any illegal immigrants from Arizona law enforcement.” “What better way to make our point and nullify state efforts to take matters into their own hands than to guarantee that no one they arrest for being in this country illegally will be detained or deported by this office?” Morton asked. “They may as well just let them go because that’s what we’ll do if they’re handed over to us.” Morton said the policy was laid down by Homeland Security...

The Department of Homeland Security is upgrading a software program code-named “Einstein” in order to enable government agents to read every e-mail sent or received through a server located in the United States. “We will leave no tool unused in our efforts to protect this government from attack,” boasted Secretary Janet Nipplitaliano. As for concerns this would be an Unconstitutional invasion of privacy, she insisted, “No one has a right to privacy in his or her communications if those communications threaten the government.” Nipplitaliano expressed regret that “it has taken so long for us to develop this capability. Who knows,...

Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Nappertaliano announced that “our efforts against terror have taken a significant step forward with the arrest of James O’Keefe and his accomplices in Louisiana this past week.” O’Keefe is the journalist who gained notoriety last September for exposing corruption in the offices of Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN). He and three associates were arrested in the Louisiana office of Senator Mary Landrieu (D-La) and accused of attempting to “bug” the Senator’s phone lines. “Based on his past activities, it is clear that Mr. O’Keefe represents a real threat to the government...

While admitting that there are “imperfections” in the nation’s security measures against “man-caused disasters,” Homeland Security Secretary Janet Nipplitaliano maintained that the system is basically sound—comparing the avoidance of a Christmas Day bombing of a Northwest Airline flight to a football team’s “goal line stand.” “Look, nothing happened,” Nipplitaliano insisted. “No bomb went off. Sure, the guy never should’ve been allowed on the plane in Nigeria or Amsterdam. Granted, the lack of a passport would normally prohibit a person boarding an international flight, especially for a person on the terror watch-list. But these errors occurred outside US jurisdiction. The important...