Posted on 03/09/2010 10:53:08 AM PST by John Semmens
The Department of Homeland Security is upgrading a software program code-named “Einstein” in order to enable government agents to read every e-mail sent or received through a server located in the United States.
“We will leave no tool unused in our efforts to protect this government from attack,” boasted Secretary Janet Nipplitaliano. As for concerns this would be an Unconstitutional invasion of privacy, she insisted, “No one has a right to privacy in his or her communications if those communications threaten the government.”
Nipplitaliano expressed regret that “it has taken so long for us to develop this capability. Who knows, if we’d had access to every e-mail earlier maybe we could’ve snuffed out the so-called ‘Tea Party’ movement before it was able to take down several key members of the government or before it was able to intimidate congress and thwart critical legislation. Hopefully, we can now turn the tide.”
(Excerpt) Read more at azconserv1.wordpress.com ...
This satire is too close to to the truth to be that funny.
Here's a clue you incompetent idiot. Stop treading on the freedoms and liberties of AMERICANS and you wouldn't have to worry about it.
Lol, I went all the way to the 3rd paragraph before looking up for the satire link!
While this is satire, the truth is that they have been monitoring for key words for at least 20 years.
Keep this up John and they will consider you the Messiah! LOL!
This is satire?
Gets harder and harder to tell that it's satire.
I’m just grateful that FReepers’ vocabulary and literary faculties are superior to the SEIU thugs and ACORN serfs assigned to snoop.
The dearth of incondite phraseology, misspellings and grammatical errors on the FR Forum will send them into such rapid Thesaurus withdrawal, they will be claiming permanent didactic disability.
Dang it John!
Yes, but it is supposed to be used to monitor OUR enemies. Napolitano and Obama (and Clinton before them) want to use it to monitor THEIR enemies.
You had me till the Tea Party part.
Nipplitaliano....LOL!
Too close to the truth John! And we all know who’s emails would be scrutinized the most....evil right-wingin’ teabaggers. :)
You can always throw some padding in at the end of every email to increase the signal to noise ratio for Echelon. Just stick in nuclear White House New York bio-weapon Allah and stuff like that.
Man was that a mouthful.
“the truth is that they have been monitoring for key words”
You’d think they’d get a lot of false alerts about people talking about nuclear suitcases that are hidden in a Rider trucks in Washington DC by a guy named Omar the American from Pakistan who got the dirty nuke from the mafia in Russia.
You know, just randomly.
We should begin communicating in Arabic. That way, we could be pretty confident our communications would be exempted from any scrutiny.
I hope they enjoy the 0bama jokes as much as I do.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.